CHAPTER 6

Two Years Later.

The stars were twinkling above the Golden Gate Bridge as I cuddled my beau on that park bench. My face was stuffed in his shoulder, the mixed smell of his shower soap and cologne filling my nostrils. His hand was wrapped around me, keeping me warm since that fall night was unseasonably cold. I almost couldn't bare the feeling of his fingers running through my mane of auburn hair.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Aaron said, cuddling me closer. "Zooey, you know how much I love you, don't you?"

"Mmmhm. Sure, you too." I said. I wasn't really in the mood for the mushy gushy talk, I just wanted to keep smelling my gorgeous boyfriend.

"I want to fill my life with moments like this. I want you always here with me, right by my side, making me laugh, making my life complete."

There was something practiced about that speech. I shivered a little as Aaron began to move. He was now off the park bench, on one knee, pulling a black box out of his pocket. "Zooey, I want you to marry me. Will you marry me?"

Shit.

Ever since I was a little girl I didn't picture myself getting married. I grew up in a home where my parents couldn't stand the sight of each other. They split up when I was 14, and it was then I decided that I didn't want to get married because I knew I'd treat the poor sap just like my mother treated my father.

Aaron knew that. So right off the bat, I was annoyed.

And it's not like I never considered getting married. I considered marrying Chris for a while but he obviously never proposed. When I did get in my damsel in distress mode and thought about getting married, I never pictured the proposal like this. I wanted it simple. No big dinner at the most expensive restaurant in town like Aaron had just taken me to, no big speech about how much he loves me like Aaron just recited, no gigantic ring that's bigger than my knuckle like the one Aaron was now holding in front of me.

Then I couldn't help but think of something Chris once said to me "You're too good for anyone who's too good to you."

Now I didn't feel cold. I felt incredibly stiff and sleepy, the way people say you freeze to death.

"Hey, wake up baby." Aaron said with a nervous chuckle. "Will you marry me or what?"

I finally began to exhale again and gave Aaron a smile. "Sure, why not? Let's do it."

Two weeks later I flew to London since I had three nights at Royal Albert Hall to play. I was still staring at that ring like it was an infection, though nobody around me could tell. Everyone was kissing me and gasping at how huge the ring was and suggesting bakeries for the wedding cake. I would smile and take suggestions and I was already buying wedding magazines, but in the back of my mind I knew I was making a mistake. It was just so far back I couldn't see it anymore.

Phil didn't know yet, but Natalie did. I had sworn her to secrecy. Phil was friends with Chris again, and I was completely fine with the entire thing. Things had happened so long ago, people forget their hurt. I just wanted to move on with my life and that meant my friends could move on with their lives, too. But since I knew Phil was going to tell Chris, I wanted to tell him face to face. So I sat at a cafe on Berwick street, tapping through e-mails and things I needed to do on my iPad, waiting for the happy couple to arrive.

"Aunt Ohey, aunt Ohey!" I hear from a distance, and look down the street.

Lizzy- Natalie and Phil's beautiful two year old girl- was running down the sidewalk, straight at me, a giant smile on her face. Her proud parents were laughing behind her, hand in hand, watching her excitement. Her auburn hair was in pigtails, and her blue polka dot dress was dancing around her chubby legs as she ran. "Lizzy bo bizzie bear!" I said and scooted out of my chair, knelt down and embraced her for a hug.

"I miss you aunt Ohey!" She said as I stood up, smiling at her parents as they finally got to my table.

"I missed you too! You got so big!" I said, kissing her on the head. "How's your ABC's going?"

As Lizzy began to recite her ABC's over and over again, I began to talk to Phil and Natalie. "How've things been here?" I said, tickling Lizzy's belly.

"Fantastic." Phil said, smiling at Natalie as she blushed. "London's not the same without you, though. How's San Francisco treating you?"

"If by San Francisco, you mean Aaron, that's why I called you here." I said and handed Lizzy to her mother. "Phil, Aaron and I are getting married."

Phil's mouth opened and closed. "W-why are you saying just Phil?" He said, pointing to Natalie and his daughter.

"I knew." Natalie said. "I knew and the only reason we waited to tell you is because you're still friends with that twat and we knew you were going to tell him. Zooey thought it would be better to tell you in person so you didn't go off-"

"Okay, I get it, love." Phil said, nodding. "Wow. So you, said yes?"

"Of course I said yes, why wouldn't I say yes?" I snapped, sitting back in my seat with my arms crossed.

He raised his thick eyebrows at me and shook his head. "No no, I didn't mean anything by it. It's wonderful, Zooey. Congratulations!"

I reached across the table and kissed him on the cheek, Natalie and Lizzy wearing the same proud smile as we did. That didn't go as well as I wanted it to but hey, it went.

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Phil kissed his girlfriend and daughter goodbye and walked into the Bakery, his heart feeling a little heavy. He didn't know how he was going to say it, but he knew he had to tell Chris about Zooey's engagement. It'd been three years, and Chris still wasn't over her.

"Hey," Phil said, crashing on the couch next to Chris as he strummed an acoustic guitar. "how've you been?"

Chris nodded at him, a little suspicion on his face. "Good. You?"

"I just had lunch with Zooey."

As soon as her name left Phil's lips, Chris stopped strumming his guitar and sat up in his seat. "She's in London?"

Phil nodded. "And there's something I need to tell you about her."

Chris waited patiently, his knuckled white from squeezing his guitar so hard.

"Chris, she's getting married."

The entire room got silent when Phil said it. Guy stopped typing on his laptop, Jonny and Will stopped laughing at something they were talking about. They were all looking at Chris.

Chris's hands immediately started to shake as he let his guitar gently fall to the ground. His blue eyes were bulged, staring at the ground as he slowly stood up and began to walk slowly out of the room.

"Chris?" Phil said softly.

He didn't answer, he just kept walking until he lost his balance and began to fall on a bookshelf of records. Jonny and Will immediately ran over to catch him, pulled him up and brought his limp body back to the couch. As soon as they laid him down, he tucked his legs close to his body and faced the back. "Is she performing here?"

"Chris," Phil said, scooting closer.

"Is she performing here?" Chris said louder, and Phil could see his entire body was trembling.

Phil nodded, even though Chris wasn't looking at him. "She's got a show at Royal Albert Hall tonight."

Chris stood up and began to walk into the mini kitchen. "You're taking me with you." He said, and with that commenced a full twenty minutes of Chris breaking dishes and tearing things apart, just the way his life was.

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The show went off without a hitch. The audience was fantastic and I couldn't help but feel really great, being back in my favorite city in the world. I missed London, a lot. But I also know I made the choice to move and sometimes, we have to make sacrifices to be happy.

But… was I happy?

I jogged off the stage after my band and I took our bow, talking to my drummer Josh about how great the beat sounded. Roadies clapped and high fived us while people scrambled to finish the night out. I walked down to the basement and opened the door to my dressing room, not expecting what was standing inside.

It was Chris.

He was standing in front of my makeup mirror, staring back at me with the same look of surprise on his face. I noticed he was holding a picture of him and I in his hand. A picture I kept behind my picture of Aaron and I. "What are you doing here?" I said, closing the door quickly behind me.

"I sort've made Phil bring me, so eh, don't get angry at him, okay?"

I was still leaning against the door, stiff as a board. Neither one of us had moved since I had walked in. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. It was so weird, not seeing him on the cover of gossip and music magazines, and instead seeing him in my dressing room again. Like old times.

"What are you doing here?" I said again, with a little more anger.

Chris put the picture back down on my bureau and took a step closer to me. "I need to talk to you."

"I'm getting married, Chris." I spit the words out of my mouth like acid.

As Chris thought of what to say I began to move, packing up my things, wanting to get the hell out of that room as soon as possible. "That's what I need to talk to you about I just, I need to ask you something. Zooey, please slow down."

I was rushing around the room, stuffing clothes into my duffle bag and guitars back into their cases, not even glancing at him. The only thing that finally stopped me was his hands on my shoulders. He turned me around and I looked into his deep blue eyes. It hurt to look into them again, but I couldn't look away.

"What?" I said, feeling my eyes tear up. I began to miss his face again.

He swallowed, staring straight back at me. "Do you love him?"

I felt like I was going to faint. "Of course I do." I whispered.

There was a few seconds of dead silence, I could barely move from all the tension in the room. "Like you loved me?" Chris said, his big blue eyes watery, his face flushed.

The entire thing felt like a dream. I couldn't believe I was in this situation, talking to him again. But the biggest thing I was worried about was the fact that I realized I was still in love with him.

I turned around and dropped my duffle bag next to me. Tears were streaming down my face and my throat was completely closed in. I couldn't take it anymore.

Chris stepped closer to me and I did the same, we were now inches away from each other's faces. My eyes were closed as I breathed him in. He was still the same. That amazing feeling of smelling his cologne while my face rubbed against his stubbly chin brought me back to when we dated. When we laughed together, cried together, fought together, made love together. At that moment there was nothing else in my mind but him, and how much I wanted him.

CHAPTER 5

Chris's life had become dismal. For the past six months, all he could do was think about that night. Think about what a coward he was, and how he'd made the biggest mistake of his life, letting her walk away. He absolutely hated himself, and that wasn't helping any of his other relationships.

Phil refused to talk to him. He'd quit his job as the band's tour manager, and Chris had presumed he was just working for Zooey now. They tried to replace him with a roadie, but nobody could do Phil's job the way he could. Chris would call him, come to his door, try to explain himself- but the fact that Phil was dating Zooey's best friend didn't help. Every time Natalie would hear his voice over the phone, or see his face walking up the street, she'd completely shut him out. And it wasn't any better with Chris's band.

They treated him differently since Phil told them what happened. Things were awkward. There was no more going out for drinks, no more inviting each other over for parties and play dates for the kids. It was like they barely knew each other. In the studio, there was barely any talking when Chris was in the room. The guys would get there early, then Chris after he dropped his kids off at school. Chris would walk in the studio and he could immediately hear the guys talking, experimenting with their instruments, laughing and having a good time. For a minute, every time this happened, Chris would smile. He'd think that everything was fine. That things were back to the way they were and maybe Zooey was in there, having a good time with them.

But he was wrong.

As soon as he'd walk into the room they'd get quiet, and you could cut the tension with a knife. Chris would try to grin and bare the awkward feeling, show them the songs he wrote and the guys wouldn't say anything. There was no experimenting, no suggestions, it was like they became an assembly line. They'd read the song chords and first Will would put down his track, then Guy, then Jonny and Chris was always last, alone in the studio putting down his track, because by then all of them had left for the day.

One particularly cold night, Chris was sitting on the floor of the studio in the dark, a few half drunken beers sitting around him, torn up papers, tissues for his tears, and a brand new piece of paper- a divorce proposal. And he'd filled everything out. His name, date of birth, children's names, lawyer's name, address, reason for divorce, proceedings. Everything except one- he hadn't signed it. Chris clicked the pen in the dead silent room, staring at that line that read "signature and name-please print". His eyes were watery and his heart was in his stomach. "Just sign it, you fucking idiot." he thought to himself and slammed his hand down onto the paper. He couldn't do it.

Suddenly, Chris heard an awkward cough behind him. He turned to see Jonny standing at the doorway, with Phil standing behind him. There was barely any light, just from a small lamp in the hall, but Chris could see that both their faces looked worried. "Hi. Eh, I thought we should talk." Jonny said, and the two of them stepped closer.

"How've you been Phil?" Chris asked as the two sat down, clearing the floor of the dirty papers and beer bottles.

Phil smiled crookedly. "I've been fantastic actually, Chris. Natalie's pregnant."

Chris nodded and smiled. "That's so great, man. Congratulations."

Jonny smiled at Chris, and Phil nodded. Awkward silence. "Listen," Chris said after a few seconds. "I know I've been a complete bastard for ages now and I am so, so sorry for it. I hate myself as much as you guys hate me, probably more. But please, I feel alone enough. I need you guys back."

Phil handed Chris a tissue to wipe away the tears falling down his scruffy face. The room was silent, except for Chris's quiet sobs.

Jonny scooted closer to Chris and put a hand on his back. "You need her back."

Chris nodded and wiped his hot face, trying to stop himself from breaking down and crying like a baby. The room was silent for a few more minutes until Phil picked up the divorce papers. "Why couldn't you just do it, Chris? You sent her into the seventh circle of hell after what you did."

Jonny looked up at Phil and tried to give him a "be cool" face before Chris looked up but it was too late. "I know, man. But I feel like I would ruin everything for my kids, our band and Gwyneth's career if we went through a whole divorce scandal. But Phil, can I ask you a question?"

Phil looked down at Chris and gave him a slight nod.

"If I were to do it, do you think she would take me back?"

More silence, and Chris grabbed a beer while he waited for Phil to answer and took a swig. "Honestly, Chris? No. She's moved on. She's been in San Francisco. Natalie just went over there to see her today and texted me a few hours ago. She bought a house. She's laughing and smiling again. They're going to a baseball game tonight. Sorry Chris, she's moved on. And I think it's about time you do the same."

And with that, Phil stood up and walked out of the room, not to come back. Chris ended up talking with Jonny the rest of the night and they were able to work things out. Chris apologized for everything and he knew Phil was right, he had to move on. She was apart of his life for so long, he didn't know where to start.

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"The park was built in 2000 and has gone under many names since." The tour guide said.

We walked out onto the field and let our eyes wander all around the empty stadium. Mike held Tilly on his shoulders, pointing at things while she simply stared up into the sky. David held a video camera, taping the entire thing as we walked across the outfield, listening to our rather perky young tour guide. When the park heard I was coming to this game they offered to give us a free tour beforehand. I guess being famous has its perks.

Earlier in the day, after Natalie had told me I was going to be an aunt, I bought the first house the realtor took us to. It was a beautiful victorian row home right on the San Francisco bay, with a dock in the back. Natalie and I made plans to go boat shopping in a couple of days. I felt great about moving to San Francisco, like it was the start of a new Zooey and nothing was going to stop me now.

Mike's cell phone started ringing, so he gently put Tilly down on the grass and began to look for it in his baby bag. "Watch Tilly for a second, ladies."

Since Natalie was nonstop on her cell phone, incredibly bored with the tour, I should've known "ladies" meant me. But I was too busy looking around the beautiful stadium, watching the Giants players play catch, enjoying the beautiful weather to notice anything my brother was saying.

I eventually popped out of my bubble and realized Tilly had scooted off about thirty feet in a matter of seconds, and was now sitting in front of a rolling baseball as a player went to go grab it. "Tilly," I said, walking up to her. "why are you so fast?"

The baseball player from the Giants got to Tilly when I was about fifteen feet away from her still. He was tall, muscular, and looked like he'd just walked out of a sports magazine. From where I was standing, watching the two I couldn't understand what he was saying. Tilly was not sitting on the grass, feet eschew, her chubby hands trying to pick up the baseball which was almost the size of her head. He picked up the ball and she kept watching him, said something to her, threw it in the air and let it fall right onto the top of his head. Tilly and I both laughed at the same time as he fell back and pretended to die. "Sorry about her," I said as Tilly was still cracking up. "she's training to be an Olympic crawler."

The man laughed. "Don't worry about it, she's great." He said while putting two baseballs in front of his eyes while making a funny face. Tilly thought he was hilarious.

I scooped her up and that's when our eyes finally met. My first judgement of him a few minutes ago was completely correct- he was incredibly good looking. We stood there for a few seconds just smiling at each other until he said "I'm Aaron." and stuck out his hand.

"Zooey." I said and shook his hand.

He nodded. "Well Tilly, try not to run away from your mommy so much. She's too beautiful to run away from."

I laughed and shook my head. "No no, she's my niece."

"Your niece?" Aaron said, and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Well nice to meet you, Aaron. And thanks for the baseball, I don't think you want it back." I said, watching Tilly suck on it like it was a lollypop.

As I began to turn around to walk away, he stopped me. "Listen, is there any way I can ask you out without being a total douche?"

Was this really happening?

"A ha," I said. "no, that's pretty much an automatic douche move."

"Well I guess I'm a douche then." Aaron grinned. "Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

I furrowed my brow and smiled. "Don't you uh, I don't know, have a game tonight?"

"After the game, tell them your name and that you know me, and meet me out here on the field. Deal?"

"Deal." I said a little too quickly and waved goodbye.

Who am I, and what have I done with the real Zooey?

"He must've recognized you." David said as he popped some cotton candy into his mouth.

I nodded and pointed at him for no reason. "I know, I know and that's the great part. He didn't mention once how much his mom loves me or how his sister saw me and thought I was great."

"And that's a good thing?" Natalie said, chuckling.

I sat back in my seat and stared at him, standing out in center field as he intensely watched the pitcher throw the next strike. "He treated me like a real person. I have a good feeling about him."

"I have a good feeling about him too, in my pants." Mike said and we all burst into laughter.

The entire game I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Usually I like baseball and enjoy paying attention to what was actually going on. But not this time, not after what had happened to me a few hours earlier. I couldn't wait to get to know him.

CHAPTER 4. Sorry, it's short. The next one will be really long, I promise.

It'd been six months to the day that Chris shut me down and I felt like a completely different person. Still living in San Francisco with my brother, everything about me was different. My days were more relaxed. People didn't recognize me that much so I actually felt normal, like I had a normal, good life. I dressed differently. Going almost every day to the center city H&M, I'd created a new wardrobe for myself. I wasn't wearing all black anymore, I had some actual color in my wardrobe and it felt incredibly good.

And the biggest thing of all- within the last month, I'd sold my house in London. The house I'd had for the past eleven years now belonged to some Russian college student and his twelve year old girlfriend. I sold everything in it, too because I decided to buy a house in San Francisco. There was nothing like the feeling that city gave me and I wanted to feel it for the rest of my life.

"We're home!" I yelled as I opened the door with one hand, holding Tilly in the other hand. "Tilly had a great time at play school, but I think she ate too much cheese so, have fun with that later."

Mike smiled at me and took his daughter. "So listen, Natalie's flying in at one o'clock then we're all going to the Giants game tonight."

"Sweet." I said, jogging up the stairs. "Are you ready for some baseball?"

"I think that's football, love." Mike called.

When I got to the top of the stairs I felt my phone begin to vibrate. I pulled it out of my pocket and pressed "answer". "Zooey? Hi, this is Veronica Stone, returning your call."

The best real estate agent in the city. "Hello, thanks for calling me back." I said.

"I heard what you said you're looking for and I believe I have some houses picked out for you. Would you be able to meet me this afternoon to make your choice?"

I smiled and took a deep breath. It'd been a few weeks since I had contacted Veronica about settling down in the city and I could not wait for her call. I was excited about starting my life anew, with the person who made me hit rock bottom on the other side of the world.

Veronica agreed to meet me at four o'clock, right after I pick up Natalie from the airport. As I crawled along the busy freeway, blasting Death Cab for Cutie on the radio while trying to reach Natalie on her phone, I noticed something about myself in the rear view mirror.

There was a tiny smile laying over my face. I realized I was happy again.

"Where are you?" Natalie answered, and I could hear her heavy breathing into the phone.

"I'm just pulling up now." I said, putting my blinkers on. "Just to let you know, we're going to look at houses."

"Ooh, sounds like fun!" Natalie said excitedly. A few seconds later I saw her push her way past the glass doors, luggage in hand.

"Have you talked to Phil?" Natalie asked, playing with the buttons on the radio.

"I did last week." I replied, stopping at a red light.

She looked up at me and smiled. "So, you don't know."

"Know what?" I said quickly, hating to be out of the loop.

Natalie sat back in her seat while I pressed on the gas when the light turned. "Are you sure I should tell you now?"

"Tell me!" I whined.

"Well, for the past few weeks I'd been feeling really sick. I mean like, crazy sick. So I went to the doctor three days ago and, well, they told me I'm pregnant."

As soon as those words came out of Natalie's mouth I slammed on the breaks and pulled the car over. When I looked over at her she had a big smile on her face, so I knew this wasn't bad news.

"What did Phil say?" I asked.

"He's absolutely thrilled and so am I." She chuckled, and I pulled her in for a hug. "You're going to be an aunt!"

"I am so unbelievably happy for you!" I said, thinking about how I was now the only person in my group of friends to not be settled down with someone.

CHAPTER 3

I felt like my entire world had collapsed around me. Phil and Chris were having screaming matches on the phone, Gertrude refused to talk to me, and the man I confessed my love for completely shot me down. Phil and Natalie were the only people I had left.

"Listen," Natalie said as she put her bags down. She'd flown over from London just to support me. I couldn't ask for a better friend. "you don't want to go back to London anytime soon, right?"

"I don't think I ever want to go back to London." I said, crossing my arms.

Natalie nodded and took a sip of wine. "Maybe you could go stay with Mike and David for a while."

"San Francisco?" I said, giving it some serious thought. "Yeah, maybe I should."

Mike is my brother, and David is the boyfriend he has been with for almost seven years now. Recently they just adopted a baby, Matilda, and were living the absolute dream on the west coast of the country. "Mike does have a way of making everyone happier," Phil said. "and I'm so glad he's settled down now, that way he doesn't pinch my butt anymore."

I giggled. My brother might be the only person in this world that could make me feel happy again.

San Francisco is a contradiction. In the winter it can get to be incredibly cool, with temperatures in the 30s yet it's so humid you can barely see in front of you. Air so thick it feels like you're living in the Amazon, but you wear light jackets and long sleeves all year round. It really is a beautiful city, at the core where the skyscrapers and businessmen are located, and outside, where the hills and boat owners at trolleys thrive. I was looking forward to getting acquainted with it. Since Mike and David moved here a few years ago, I've only come for holiday visits and birthdays. I never got to know the city, and to be honest, I felt I was starting to distance from my big brother.

Three knocks on the door, a few seconds of wait and the door flies open. "Hey Dave." I say as my brother's boyfriend smiles at me.

"Diva!" David says, throwing his arms around me. "It is so good to see you. Mike, your sister's here. Ugh I love this jacket, you gotta tell me where you shop."

I stepped in the doorway and dropped my bags on the hardwood floor. "It is so good to be back here. I really think you guys have the best house in the city."

"Those bastards a block over have the best house in the city." Mike said, walking down the theatrical staircase with his daughter in his arms. "You have no idea how many times we've tried to get their house, but they seriously won't move. Hey dear, good to see you."

I gave my brother a kiss on the cheek. "You're hair is so long."

"He's going for the Bradley Cooper look." Dave yelled from the kitchen. "I keep telling him he'll never pull it off."

Then I looked down at my niece, who was pointing at me with a chubby finger. "Hey Tilly," I said as Mike handed her to me. "it's aunt Zooey. Oh, I've missed that face."

"Do you want to tell us what happened?" Mike asked.

I nodded, and went to sit down on the couch.

"He said he just couldn't." I said. "And that was it."

Mike and David's jaws were on the ground while Tilly was sitting on the floor, laughing hysterically as their kitten licked himself clean.

"Wow." Mike said, rubbing his stubbly chin. "I can't believe Chris would do something like that."

"Well, he did." I said, sipping my tea as it started to snow lightly outside.

Dave scoffed. "The thing I can't figure out is why he couldn't leave her."

"He's an asshole?" I suggested.

Mike sat back and crossed his arms. "I've known Chris for a very long time. His father was terrifyingly strict on him."

I furrowed my brow. "He wasn't that bad."

"He'd always put on a smile when you and Gertrude were there but when it was just me and him, he'd hound him. And I'd mean really hound him on every little thing that had to do with being a good father."

Dave scoffed and poured me more tea. "That's no reason to do what he did."

Mike shook his head. "Oh, I know that. I'm just trying to explain why he's an awful person."

Hearing someone else think that made me feel a little better since I just lost my best friend in the world.

"Here's what you're going to do." Dave said. "You're going to stay with us, enjoy the city, have fun, and once you get over this prick you're going to find a wonderful man and marry him and have lots of babies."

I smiled at the two of them. The "getting over him" process had already started.

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Nothing in Chris's life was working. The fact that he was having a second child was one of the worst news he'd gotten. He hated Gwyn. He was fighting with all his friends because they knew what he did to Zooey and didn't want anything to do with him. Now Zooey was gone and he had no idea where she'd run off to. He had absolutely nothing.

Six months past and still no word from her. He was in the studio, working on a new album with his band but everything was completely different. He had a new baby at home and a two year old that never stopped crying. Their music sounded terrible and they didn't even talk to each other while recording. They were like acquaintances, working together at an assembly line, just wanting to get it over with without enjoying any of the process.

Gwyn moved out. She bought a house right down the street so she'd be close to the kids, but they were legally separated and absolutely hated each other. There wasn't one day where Chris would wake up and think that he had to get it done with. He had to divorce Gwyn and find Zooey before she found a man who was actually good to her.

But he just couldn't. He didn't have enough courage to go through with it and he knew because of that, he'd be miserable for the rest of his life.

CHAPTER 2, kind've short.

CHAPTER 2:
Words could not describe how furious I was with Chris. The first thing being the fact that after he spilled his feelings for me he never called me. He never made an effort to try to work things out with me when I called his cell phone around a dozen times to try to work it out. And try to ask him why the hell he got his supposed "mistake" pregnant a night after he told me he wished he'd married me. So after those phone calls, I basically stopped trying with him.
Phil wouldn't talk to me about it, and I kind've liked it better that way. He knew what happened but he also knew that he was incredibly close with the both of us. So we just wouldn't bring it up and tried to get on with our lives.
The next two months I spent in my studio, trying to avoid the tabloid pictures of Gwyneth's growing belly while writing new songs. One was very fittingly titled "Tired".
Eight weeks after the last time I saw Chris, I got a phone call. "Hello hello hello, this is Scott Flynn, one of Jay-Z's assistants."
"Oh, hi." I said, holding the phone with my shoulder while I tuned a guitar.
"Yeah miss Zooey Jay-Z is having his 42nd birthday party this weekend in New York City and would it if you could attend."
This was a bit tough for me. I met Jay through Chris. They did a couple songs together, then I got to meet him and we collaborated a few times as well. He was such a great friend, but I was one hundred percent sure that Chris would be there. I closed my eyes and made a choice. "Uh, yeah, sure, I'd love to go."
One of the worst decisions I could ever make.

That Night.
Just two days later I was in the hustling and bustling big apple, in the back of a black sedan, sitting next to Phil, on my way to one of the biggest birthday parties you'll ever see. Phil smiled at me, looking down at my red mini dress. "Why didn't you get the slutty one?"
I smiled and slapped his shoulder. Yeah, my dress was short and a bit exposing, but I'm single. And I'm spiteful.
The line of celebrities getting out of their cars and onto the red carpet was so long, we didn't get out of the car until 20 minutes after we got there. Paparazzi were everywhere, screaming my name, bulbs going off right in front of my face. I put on an incredibly fake smile and tried not to look around frantically for Chris.
The next half hour was filled with posing for pictures on Jay-Z's red carpet, waving and smiling at other celebrities, having Phil hold my purse the entire time. When we got inside, it was nothing less than what you would imagine. People everywhere, club music blasting, romantic lighting, pictures of Jay's face everywhere you look. I smiled. This party screamed him.
I stayed close to the door. I don't know if it was because the entire room was so dark you could barely see and I needed some light to find my drink, or because I wanted to be ready to make a quick run for it if Chris tried to make a scene. I didn't think he would though, since he'd been avoiding me for ages now. What is it about men that makes them act like complete five year olds, and run away from their problems?
"There he is." Phil said, gazing into the room. "He's with Jonny."
"Is he looking at me?" I said, then realized I sounded like a fifteen year old high schooler.
Phil looked down at me and gave me a small nod. I nodded back, sighed, and made some conversation with the billionaire singers and supermodels around me. A few seconds later I felt two skinny arms wrap around my neck and a chin laid on my shoulder. "It's about time you wear something that shows of that sexy figure of yours."
It was Jay's wife, Beyonce.
I turned around and pulled her in for a hug, glancing down at her dress that barely concealed anything. "I know, you're usually the expert at that. Good to see you, love."
"I'm really sorry Chris is here." she said, looking behind me and I guessed she was looking at him. "I begged Jay not to invite him but he thought it'd be a big scandal if he didn't. Men are idiots."
"Tell me about it."
Hours past and rain started to pour in the cold, concrete streets of New York City. Phil had gone off to talk to Chris, and I was sitting at a small cocktail table with Beyonce and a friend of hers that would not stop telling me what a big fan she was. It was getting so late and I was so unbelievably tired that I was getting the urge to punch her in the face just to make her shut up. "Listen, it's getting late." I said, faking a yawn. "I should go home."
The two understood and kissed me goodbye. I had no idea where Phil had run off to and had no intention of hunting him down, thinking he could make it back to the hotel just fine. I walked out the door into the rain, happy it had started to pour because it'd chased all the paparazzi away. I shoved my hands into my pockets and began to walk back to the hotel, not caring at all about getting absolutely soaked. The rain was always a pleasure to me.
About a block away from the hotel I heard car tires screech behind me then a car door open, and thought nothing of it. Then, I heard my name being called.
When I turned around, like something out of a cheesy nineties movie, I saw Chris running towards me in the pouring rain. He stopped a couple feet in front of me. "Please, Zooey, let me explain everything." he panted. "I fucked up. This pregnancy was a complete mistake, and I've been so depressed about the whole thing these past couple of months I haven't been able to come up with the courage to speak to you. I still mean everything I said that night in the park. And that doesn't make up for anything I've done but please, you have to forgive me."
The rain was a suitable mask for the fact that I was now crying. I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't hurt him, so I took a step back to walk away from him. "No." I said aloud to myself. "No Chris, I can't hide how I feel anymore. I miss you like crazy and Chris, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So please, Chris. Let me forgive you and leave her. Leave her and be with me."
Chris was now wiping his eyes despite the fact that his entire body was soaked from the rain. He stared down at his shoes for what felt like forever, then the words I never thought I would hear left his mouth.
"I can't."
For a minute I thought it was the sounds of the city masking what he actually said, then he said it again.
"I can't, Zooey. I'm so sorry."
My mouth closed and opened again, and I felt like I'd taken the knockout blow. My legs felt like rubber and my throat completely closed up. I turned around and began to stumble away from him on my wobbly legs. He called after me a couple times but all I did in reply give him the finger. Our relationship was officially over.

CHAPTER 1.

CHAPTER 1:
I met Chris Martin in high school at Phil's Christmas party. We became unbelievably close in a matter of weeks, then we were inseparable. He was my best friend and made me feel absolutely invincible. Of course, being that close, there was a relationship.
We started dating in college and had the most unbelievable time together. Our days were full of making music, drinking with friends and spending the entire night talking and making love. But it wasn't real. We both agreed when we signed our record deals that it wasn't going to work and we decided to remain friends. I guess that didn't pan out the way we wanted it to.
Chris's band Coldplay sold unbelievable amounts of records and traveled the world. I was more successful than I could even ask for, playing places like the Fillmore and Royal Albert Hall. Even though we had incredibly hectic schedules, one thing kept it so we could always see each other- Phil Harvey. Phil was both my tour manager and Coldplay's. He was unbelievably busy dealing with the two of us but he loved and dealt with every second of it perfectly. After things happened between Chris and I though, Phil no longer worked for me. Or talked to me.
Anyway, all the drama started five years before my wedding. Things in my life were going perfectly. I had just finished a long, successful tour, I had some of the greatest and most supportive friends and family in the world.
On a typical Tuesday afternoon I flew from Moscow back to a sunny, beautiful London day. My feet hurt, my head ached and I was in desperate need of a shower. Despite all that I couldn't help but be happy. It was good to be home.
I was standing on an escalator, bags sitting at my feet, trying to ignore the paparazzi when I saw my welcoming committee waiting for me at the bottom. They had made a makeshift "Welcome home, Zoe!" sign that looked like it was made by a five year old. Sitting underneath it with their arms over each other were all my great friends- Phil, Jonny, Guy, Will, Natalie, Gertrude and Chris- singing one of my singles. I burst into laughter, watching them all make complete fools of themselves. My friends were the greatest people on earth.
"You are a bunch of idiots." I said when I got to the bottom of the escalator, trying to hide my gratitude behind humor.
"Welcome home!" They all said in off key unison and gave me a group hug. "Oh, you smell like crap!" Jonny added.
I smacked him across the shoulder and smiled at all of them. "Well, what are we doing, kids?"
"Dinner at Doyle's." Phil said. "So go home, get changed and take a shower. Jonny's right, you stink."
Natalie and Gertrude came to my apartment with me and made themselves at home while I scrubbed myself clean. The entire time I was alone I couldn't stop thinking about Chris. Why was he so quiet? I hadn't seen him in weeks, I thought he'd be more enthusiastic. "Is Chris mad at me?" I said, walking into my living room after I'd dried and styled my hair.
Gertrude and Natalie froze from what they were doing and gave each other a face. I recognized it. They were keeping something from me.
"What was that?" I said, pointing my finger at the two of them.
"W-nothing!" Natalie said, going back to the People magazine she was scanning.
Gertrude was a much worse liar than Natalie, so I waited for her to say something.
"What, Zooey? It was nothing. And no, Chris isn't mad at you. God, you're so paranoid."
Since I was so exhausted I let it slide. I knew something was up, though. "So what's been going on while I was gone?"
"Oh, not much." Natalie said. "Phil broke up with that girlfriend of his."
"Thank god. Ooh, how's your brother's baby?"
"Perfect." Natalie gave me a smile that thanked me for remembering. "The surgery went absolutely perfect."
A few hours later we changed and left for Doyle's. Dusk was coming over the city, and the people were home from work, ready to go out and drink away the day. Doyle's was in my favorite part of North London. Just a few blocks away from Chris's house, it was a place Chris and I would love to go after a long day of writing and recording. Then we'd go up to Parliament Hill at Hampstead Heath and just talk the night away, finishing our beers, watching the city sparkle and the sun rise. Those were some great days, and I couldn't wait to do that again tonight.
Natalie, Gertrude and I arrived before the boys did, so we got a booth in the back of the bar and ordered some strong drinks. The bar was jam packed, and I tried to cover my face with my hand, noticing some people pointing and whispering something about me. Tonight I really didn't want to be recognized. I just wanted to order some drinks and be with my friends. "Oh, god, I shouldn't be drinking." Gertrude said and took a sip of her Cosmo. "I've got a long day tomorrow, I'm going speed dating."
"Speed dating?" Natalie said. "Seems a little desperate, don't you think?"
I nodded in agreement.
Gertrude's emerald green eyes bulged. "It is NOT desperate. If I was as famous or as beautiful as either of you it would be much easier."
"Oh come on, Gertrude." I said. "You are so beautiful you just need to-"
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Need to what?"
"Put yourself out there a bit, love." Natalie said, pulling another martini off a passing waiter's drink tray.
She sat back in her booth and frowned. "What do you mean? I mean, I'm here, aren't I?"
"S'cuse me." A tall, young, Abercrombie looking man said standing in front of us. "I'm sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to say, Zooey, I am a huge fan. Can I get your autograph?"
I smiled and acted flattered, pulling out a Sharpie and a bar napkin. "What's your name?"
"Tad." He said, smiling at Natalie while Gertrude sunk lower and lower into the booth.
I looked over at her and handed the napkin to him. "These are friends of mine, Natalie and Gertrude."
Natalie nodded and he seemed to take an interest in Gertrude, exactly what I was looking for. "Hi," he said to Gertrude who looked like she was about to die. "oh, I love your Star Wars watch. My favorite is the Phantom one."
"The Phantom Menace." She said quickly, not even making eye contact with him. Natalie began to shake her head at her.
"Oh," he said, and stood there awkwardly. "well, thanks for the autograph."
I smiled and we both stared daggers at Gertrude. "What are you staring at?" She said, tearing up a napkin nervously.
"That's exactly what we're talking about!" I said. "You get so goddamn nervous that you shut down your personality immediately. He was into you! You just need to relax, babe."
She closed her eyes and put her head on the counter. "Ugh, you're right. I know."
Natalie put a hand over Gertrude's bright auburn locks. "I can help you. C'mon, let's go get some booty calls."
"W, what about me?" I said, putting my hands in the air with a smile on my face.
Natalie looked down the bar, smiled, then looked over at me. "I think you'll be just fine here."
The two of them disappeared into the sea of drunkards while I looked down the rows of booths to see what Natalie was smiling at. It was Chris. He'd just walked in the door and already made eye contact with me, a smile on his face. "Where's the other two?"
"Natalie's trying to help your sister get laid." I said, handing him a beer.
Chris rolled his bright blue eyes and smiled. "Typical. Hey, so how's it feel to be home?"
"Fantastic." I said, smiling and putting my head in my hands. "I can't wait to start writing again. How's the new album going?"
"Not well." Chris said. "Kind've have writer's block right now."
I waved at Guy, Will and Jonny and nodded. "It happens, I'm sure it'll pass soon."
"I doubt it."
"Well, maybe it won't."
Chris gave me a look and we both burst into laughter. Guy, Will and Jonny sat down and ordered drinks, and the night was off. Every time we would have these nights I felt like I was back in college again. No one wanted my autograph, no one wanted a picture with me, we would just talk to each other as if we had the most normal lives in the world- and we were far from it.
Hours past and I must've had six beers. In other words, I was absolutely wasted, along with the rest of the gang. Gertrude never came out of her shell with any guys but I thought that that night was a good start. Natalie was making out with a guy she'd just met in the corner of the booth, the rest of us leaning back in our chair, in tears of laughter and the most idiotic things.
"And oh my god!" I said, squeezing Jonny's hand as he tried to catch his breath. "Remember when Phil was in love with that vampire? She actually sucked his blood when he stubbed his toe! And he was defending it!"
The others couldn't even reply, they were laughing so hard. "He went looney!" Chris said through fits of laughter. "He must've been smoking something to want that chick. Phil, what were you smoking?"
Phil bent over with laughter and you could see the sweat beads coming off his head. "I believe the children call it marijuana."
My stomach hurt from laughing and my mouth hurt from smiling. And at the end of the night, Joe, the owner of Doyle's finally kicked us out like he usually would. We all stumbled out the door, laughing and giggling at absolutely nothing. Our friends made a little circle to talk and call taxis, but Chris pulled me away from it. "Come on." He said, taking my hand and walking into the night. I knew exactly where he was taking me.
We trudged up the soaking wet paths of Parliament Hill, stumbling and falling and laughing the entire time. "I haven't been this drunk since college." I said, falling down onto an old bench.
Chris sat down next to me and giggled. "I've missed this so much."
"So how's the lovely wife?" I said, trying not to laugh at the very sarcastic thing I just said.
I looked over at Chris who was looking down at his beer, a frown on his face. "Z, I gotta tell you something."
"What?" I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Is it Apple?"
He shook his head immediately. "No no, she's fine. This is about me and you. Do you uh, do you remember the day we signed our record deals?"
"Yeah, that was the day I broke up with you." I said, giggling and taking another sip of beer. I looked over at Chris, he still wasn't smiling.
There was a few more seconds of complete silence as I just stared at him, waiting to hear what he had to say. His blue eyes sparkled in the small amount of light we had, as he looked straight at me. "I uh, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that lately."
"What do you mean?" I said, feeling the tension build between us. A Scotland Yard siren started going off somewhere in the distance.
"I keep, eh, I keep thinking that was a huge mistake. That night. Breaking up."
I slid off the bench and tried to comprehend what was happening. "Now of course I don't regret my daughter." Chris said. "I love her more than anything. But I do regret Gwyneth. Zooey, I should've settled down with you."

My back was now turned to him, my hands in my hair, trying to catch my breath as a soft was now making it feel incredibly cold on top of that damn hill.
"Please say something, Zooey. I've been conjuring up the confidence to say this to you for mo-"
Before Chris could finish his sentence, I'd turned around and kissed him. All the thoughts going through my head, a few of them made sense to me. Ever since Chris and I'd broken up five or six years ago, I'd had some boyfriends here and there but absolutely none of them were steady. I guess I'd never gotten over him because as my lips were pressed against his, the feelings I felt started shooting back into my heart as if I'd just been hit by a shotgun.
Then I realized something. It's not five years ago anymore. Chris is married. He has two beautiful young children and now, I was something worse than having just steady boyfriends- I was a homewrecker.
"Oh my god." I said, pulling away from him so hard I thought he was going to fall over. "Oh my god, this is a mistake."
Chris took a step towards me. "No-"
"You're married!" I stepped away from him. "You're the frontman of one of the biggest groups in the world and I, oh my god I am such a bitch."
Before Chris could reply, I started walking down the path. He called after me a couple times but I didn't answer. I just walked with my arms crossed, head down, my mind absolutely full.
"Wait!" Chris said, stepping in front of me. "Will you please talk to me?"
"Chris," I said, feeling my face get hot and my eyes fill with tears. "I'm feeling a lot of things right now. Resentment, confusion, absolute horror and drunkenness. I just, I just want to go home and sleep. Okay?"
He nodded, frowning. "Call me, okay?"
I nodded and didn't stop speed walking until I got to my flat. After I got inside I kicked off my boots, ran straight upstairs and climbed into bed. "Chris and I kissed." I said into the phone after Natalie answered.
"Well it's about bloody time." She replied, I could hear the TV in the background.
"He's married!" I fired back as I changed into pajamas.
She scoffed. "Marriage isn't forever, babe. He's totally felt for you for a while now and I know you feel for him but don't want to admit it."
"I don't know what I feel right now." I sobbed.
"Watch." Natalie said. "Watch him. In the next few days, the media is going to blow up with the story of Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow divorcing. You'll see. Just a few days."

Two months later, Gwyneth announced her pregnancy to the world.

Wedding Bells, PROLOGUE.

.
PROLOGUE:
I couldn't move. The room was incredibly crowded, bridesmaids and flower girls running around at the last second, trying to look their prettiest. Photographers scampered past the door, running to the backyard to get in place. The cake rolled past, and I felt like I was going to throw up.
So I stood there, frozen in the back corner of the room, staring at myself in the mirror. My hands kept smoothing down my dress even though there were no wrinkles. Two months ago I thought this dress looked absolutely beautiful on me. Today I wanted to tear it into shreds. It was the day I was getting married and I had this growing feeling that the wrong man was waiting for me at the end of the aisle.
So yeah, you could say I had cold feet.
Aaron was a wonderful man and I loved him, I really did. From the moment we met, two years earlier. He the All - Star Giants player, I the loved celebrity asked to throw out the first pitch. We were America's Sweethearts, and he was great for me. He made me smile, laugh, and he made me completely forget about That Night. That was the biggest thing that attracted me to him. When I was around him I didn't think about Chris at all… and it was the first time in ages that I did.
At the time I just didn't know if the love I was feeling was real, or if I was just trying to run away from the man I loved who didn't love me back for so many years.
"Wow," said Phil, standing behind me in his tux. "if Aaron wasn't twice my size I'd totally punch him out and marry you myself."
My heart was going to pop out of my throat. I looked at him from his reflection in the mirror. "Tell me I'm doing the right thing."
Phil's face turned and he looked around at all the people in the room. The room was so loud I could barely hear myself think. Maybe that was a good thing, and I could just get on with this wedding not thinking about it at all.
"Okay everybody." Phil said in his loudest voice. "I need to talk to the blushing bride alone for a few minutes so please, just file out, okay? Thanks very much."
Everybody nodded and smiled at the two of us mouthing "you look beautiful" to me. I smiled, waved and tried to hide the paralyzing fear growing inside me.
"Zooey." Phil said in his calmest, fatherly voice.
"Tell me." I said a little louder, now pacing the empty room. "Tell me I'm doing the right thing, marrying Aaron."
Phil took off his dinner jacket and sat down. "You know I can't do that."
"Phil!" I whined, and collapsed down next to him.
"Hey, hey relax." Phil said, wrapping his arms around me, giving me a light kiss on the head. "Zooey, this is your choice. You don't have to do this."
I scoffed. "Badgley Mischka custom designed this dress for me. There are hundreds of paparazzi out there- vans, buses and helicopters of them- waiting to get our picture after we take those damn vowels and worst of all, it would absolutely shatter Aaron. I can't hurt him like, like some people have hurt me."
"Sounds like you care about him a great deal."
I looked up at Phil's warm smile. "I do."
"And he loves you more than anything, and I mean anything in the world. He never stops talking about you, thinking about you, I honestly thought he was going to ditch his own bachelor party the other night and go find you." Phil stood up and handed me a tissue. "You two are perfect for each other."
I'd stopped crying. My heart was back where it belonged and I had a smile on my face. Phil was the older brother I never had, and he always knew how to make my tears stop. "Thank you." I whispered, and begun to wipe my makeup and get on with my wedding day.
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Chris woke up at 10:30 with a massive headache. His house was quiet, too quiet. Usually at this time in the morning, Phil, Guy, Jonny and Will were in his house, making themselves at home, making music. Apple and Moses were at their mother's for the week.
Why isn't anyone here?
He rolled over to the coffee table and grabbed his cell phone. No missed calls. Then, he started to get suspicious. Chris pressed "Phil Harvey" in his contacts and put the iPhone to his ear.
A few rings and then voicemail. Phil was the kind of guy that constantly had his phone on hand and picked it up within the first ring.
Something was up.
"Jonny Buckland", no answer there.
"Guy Berryman", straight to voicemail.
Lastly "Will Champion", and Chris could feel himself starting to get sweaty. Was everyone avoiding him? Finally, someone answers the phone. "Eh, hello?" Chris could hear Will whispering to other people, he was somewhere loud.
"Will! Where the hell are you guys?" Chris said, rolling out of bed to the kitchen.
More whispering, and Chris started to get annoyed. "We're uh, we're in Cambridge. Yeah, ssh, I know just shut up."
Chris chuckled. "Why?" He thought about it, and didn't think he'd ever been to Cambridge.
"Chris," Will said, and the other noises started to get more faded. "Zooey's getting married today."
His knees almost buckled underneath him and his face felt numb. So many things started racing through his mind. He never thought she'd do it. The arrogance in him made him think that she was just with this prick for revenge against Chris, and what he did to her two years ago. "Will," Chris said, throwing on his shoes. "you have to give me the address right now."
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"These shoes are awful." I said, holding onto Phil's shoulder as I adjusted my stilettos. "I should've just done a hippie wedding and gone shoe less."
"C'mon, they're hot. Shoeless would be a little creepy, too. And the kiss would be so anti climactic, because you'd probably have to climb a ladder to reach Aaron's lips. I really do think he's a commoner giant."
I giggled and smiled at Phil as we stood in front of those giant double doors that led out to the ceremony. "Thank you, by the way."
Phil looked back at me. "For what?"
"Everything." I said. "For always being there for me and, for walking me down the aisle today. I couldn't think of someone better to do this."
He smiled at me as the double doors began to open, and the audience of two hundred got on their feet.
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Chris was breaking an unbelievable amount of laws as he sped to Cambridge. He was planning his own version of The Graduate but hadn't figured out the details yet. All he knew was he needed to stop this wedding.
He finally arrived at the address Will gave him and put his hood on, trying to hide his face from the paparazzi. It was jam packed with fans of the couple and paparazzi, waiting for a glimpse of the happy two. They were all rushing towards the front gates of the gigantic mansion that was holding the wedding. Something was getting them all stirred and excited and Chris realized what it was- wedding bells. He ran up to the gate to get a glimpse of what was going on. At the top of the hill, in front of the ancient mansion was the audience, spilling out into the front, clapping, holding umbrellas to block themselves from the sun. It was so far away that Chris couldn't make out anyone specifically, but knew he'd know it when he saw her. The guests filed around an old white convertible and suddenly, there she was. Dressed in a long extravagant white gown, holding the hand of the man Chris hated more than anything. She was waving, squeezing people's hands, kissing her new husband on the cheek.
Chris couldn't believe it- he was too late.