CHAPTER 2:
Words could not describe how furious I was with Chris. The first thing being the fact that after he spilled his feelings for me he never called me. He never made an effort to try to work things out with me when I called his cell phone around a dozen times to try to work it out. And try to ask him why the hell he got his supposed "mistake" pregnant a night after he told me he wished he'd married me. So after those phone calls, I basically stopped trying with him.
Phil wouldn't talk to me about it, and I kind've liked it better that way. He knew what happened but he also knew that he was incredibly close with the both of us. So we just wouldn't bring it up and tried to get on with our lives.
The next two months I spent in my studio, trying to avoid the tabloid pictures of Gwyneth's growing belly while writing new songs. One was very fittingly titled "Tired".
Eight weeks after the last time I saw Chris, I got a phone call. "Hello hello hello, this is Scott Flynn, one of Jay-Z's assistants."
"Oh, hi." I said, holding the phone with my shoulder while I tuned a guitar.
"Yeah miss Zooey Jay-Z is having his 42nd birthday party this weekend in New York City and would it if you could attend."
This was a bit tough for me. I met Jay through Chris. They did a couple songs together, then I got to meet him and we collaborated a few times as well. He was such a great friend, but I was one hundred percent sure that Chris would be there. I closed my eyes and made a choice. "Uh, yeah, sure, I'd love to go."
One of the worst decisions I could ever make.
That Night.
Just two days later I was in the hustling and bustling big apple, in the back of a black sedan, sitting next to Phil, on my way to one of the biggest birthday parties you'll ever see. Phil smiled at me, looking down at my red mini dress. "Why didn't you get the slutty one?"
I smiled and slapped his shoulder. Yeah, my dress was short and a bit exposing, but I'm single. And I'm spiteful.
The line of celebrities getting out of their cars and onto the red carpet was so long, we didn't get out of the car until 20 minutes after we got there. Paparazzi were everywhere, screaming my name, bulbs going off right in front of my face. I put on an incredibly fake smile and tried not to look around frantically for Chris.
The next half hour was filled with posing for pictures on Jay-Z's red carpet, waving and smiling at other celebrities, having Phil hold my purse the entire time. When we got inside, it was nothing less than what you would imagine. People everywhere, club music blasting, romantic lighting, pictures of Jay's face everywhere you look. I smiled. This party screamed him.
I stayed close to the door. I don't know if it was because the entire room was so dark you could barely see and I needed some light to find my drink, or because I wanted to be ready to make a quick run for it if Chris tried to make a scene. I didn't think he would though, since he'd been avoiding me for ages now. What is it about men that makes them act like complete five year olds, and run away from their problems?
"There he is." Phil said, gazing into the room. "He's with Jonny."
"Is he looking at me?" I said, then realized I sounded like a fifteen year old high schooler.
Phil looked down at me and gave me a small nod. I nodded back, sighed, and made some conversation with the billionaire singers and supermodels around me. A few seconds later I felt two skinny arms wrap around my neck and a chin laid on my shoulder. "It's about time you wear something that shows of that sexy figure of yours."
It was Jay's wife, Beyonce.
I turned around and pulled her in for a hug, glancing down at her dress that barely concealed anything. "I know, you're usually the expert at that. Good to see you, love."
"I'm really sorry Chris is here." she said, looking behind me and I guessed she was looking at him. "I begged Jay not to invite him but he thought it'd be a big scandal if he didn't. Men are idiots."
"Tell me about it."
Hours past and rain started to pour in the cold, concrete streets of New York City. Phil had gone off to talk to Chris, and I was sitting at a small cocktail table with Beyonce and a friend of hers that would not stop telling me what a big fan she was. It was getting so late and I was so unbelievably tired that I was getting the urge to punch her in the face just to make her shut up. "Listen, it's getting late." I said, faking a yawn. "I should go home."
The two understood and kissed me goodbye. I had no idea where Phil had run off to and had no intention of hunting him down, thinking he could make it back to the hotel just fine. I walked out the door into the rain, happy it had started to pour because it'd chased all the paparazzi away. I shoved my hands into my pockets and began to walk back to the hotel, not caring at all about getting absolutely soaked. The rain was always a pleasure to me.
About a block away from the hotel I heard car tires screech behind me then a car door open, and thought nothing of it. Then, I heard my name being called.
When I turned around, like something out of a cheesy nineties movie, I saw Chris running towards me in the pouring rain. He stopped a couple feet in front of me. "Please, Zooey, let me explain everything." he panted. "I fucked up. This pregnancy was a complete mistake, and I've been so depressed about the whole thing these past couple of months I haven't been able to come up with the courage to speak to you. I still mean everything I said that night in the park. And that doesn't make up for anything I've done but please, you have to forgive me."
The rain was a suitable mask for the fact that I was now crying. I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't hurt him, so I took a step back to walk away from him. "No." I said aloud to myself. "No Chris, I can't hide how I feel anymore. I miss you like crazy and Chris, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So please, Chris. Let me forgive you and leave her. Leave her and be with me."
Chris was now wiping his eyes despite the fact that his entire body was soaked from the rain. He stared down at his shoes for what felt like forever, then the words I never thought I would hear left his mouth.
"I can't."
For a minute I thought it was the sounds of the city masking what he actually said, then he said it again.
"I can't, Zooey. I'm so sorry."
My mouth closed and opened again, and I felt like I'd taken the knockout blow. My legs felt like rubber and my throat completely closed up. I turned around and began to stumble away from him on my wobbly legs. He called after me a couple times but all I did in reply give him the finger. Our relationship was officially over.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
CHAPTER 1.
CHAPTER 1:
I met Chris Martin in high school at Phil's Christmas party. We became unbelievably close in a matter of weeks, then we were inseparable. He was my best friend and made me feel absolutely invincible. Of course, being that close, there was a relationship.
We started dating in college and had the most unbelievable time together. Our days were full of making music, drinking with friends and spending the entire night talking and making love. But it wasn't real. We both agreed when we signed our record deals that it wasn't going to work and we decided to remain friends. I guess that didn't pan out the way we wanted it to.
Chris's band Coldplay sold unbelievable amounts of records and traveled the world. I was more successful than I could even ask for, playing places like the Fillmore and Royal Albert Hall. Even though we had incredibly hectic schedules, one thing kept it so we could always see each other- Phil Harvey. Phil was both my tour manager and Coldplay's. He was unbelievably busy dealing with the two of us but he loved and dealt with every second of it perfectly. After things happened between Chris and I though, Phil no longer worked for me. Or talked to me.
Anyway, all the drama started five years before my wedding. Things in my life were going perfectly. I had just finished a long, successful tour, I had some of the greatest and most supportive friends and family in the world.
On a typical Tuesday afternoon I flew from Moscow back to a sunny, beautiful London day. My feet hurt, my head ached and I was in desperate need of a shower. Despite all that I couldn't help but be happy. It was good to be home.
I was standing on an escalator, bags sitting at my feet, trying to ignore the paparazzi when I saw my welcoming committee waiting for me at the bottom. They had made a makeshift "Welcome home, Zoe!" sign that looked like it was made by a five year old. Sitting underneath it with their arms over each other were all my great friends- Phil, Jonny, Guy, Will, Natalie, Gertrude and Chris- singing one of my singles. I burst into laughter, watching them all make complete fools of themselves. My friends were the greatest people on earth.
"You are a bunch of idiots." I said when I got to the bottom of the escalator, trying to hide my gratitude behind humor.
"Welcome home!" They all said in off key unison and gave me a group hug. "Oh, you smell like crap!" Jonny added.
I smacked him across the shoulder and smiled at all of them. "Well, what are we doing, kids?"
"Dinner at Doyle's." Phil said. "So go home, get changed and take a shower. Jonny's right, you stink."
Natalie and Gertrude came to my apartment with me and made themselves at home while I scrubbed myself clean. The entire time I was alone I couldn't stop thinking about Chris. Why was he so quiet? I hadn't seen him in weeks, I thought he'd be more enthusiastic. "Is Chris mad at me?" I said, walking into my living room after I'd dried and styled my hair.
Gertrude and Natalie froze from what they were doing and gave each other a face. I recognized it. They were keeping something from me.
"What was that?" I said, pointing my finger at the two of them.
"W-nothing!" Natalie said, going back to the People magazine she was scanning.
Gertrude was a much worse liar than Natalie, so I waited for her to say something.
"What, Zooey? It was nothing. And no, Chris isn't mad at you. God, you're so paranoid."
Since I was so exhausted I let it slide. I knew something was up, though. "So what's been going on while I was gone?"
"Oh, not much." Natalie said. "Phil broke up with that girlfriend of his."
"Thank god. Ooh, how's your brother's baby?"
"Perfect." Natalie gave me a smile that thanked me for remembering. "The surgery went absolutely perfect."
A few hours later we changed and left for Doyle's. Dusk was coming over the city, and the people were home from work, ready to go out and drink away the day. Doyle's was in my favorite part of North London. Just a few blocks away from Chris's house, it was a place Chris and I would love to go after a long day of writing and recording. Then we'd go up to Parliament Hill at Hampstead Heath and just talk the night away, finishing our beers, watching the city sparkle and the sun rise. Those were some great days, and I couldn't wait to do that again tonight.
Natalie, Gertrude and I arrived before the boys did, so we got a booth in the back of the bar and ordered some strong drinks. The bar was jam packed, and I tried to cover my face with my hand, noticing some people pointing and whispering something about me. Tonight I really didn't want to be recognized. I just wanted to order some drinks and be with my friends. "Oh, god, I shouldn't be drinking." Gertrude said and took a sip of her Cosmo. "I've got a long day tomorrow, I'm going speed dating."
"Speed dating?" Natalie said. "Seems a little desperate, don't you think?"
I nodded in agreement.
Gertrude's emerald green eyes bulged. "It is NOT desperate. If I was as famous or as beautiful as either of you it would be much easier."
"Oh come on, Gertrude." I said. "You are so beautiful you just need to-"
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Need to what?"
"Put yourself out there a bit, love." Natalie said, pulling another martini off a passing waiter's drink tray.
She sat back in her booth and frowned. "What do you mean? I mean, I'm here, aren't I?"
"S'cuse me." A tall, young, Abercrombie looking man said standing in front of us. "I'm sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to say, Zooey, I am a huge fan. Can I get your autograph?"
I smiled and acted flattered, pulling out a Sharpie and a bar napkin. "What's your name?"
"Tad." He said, smiling at Natalie while Gertrude sunk lower and lower into the booth.
I looked over at her and handed the napkin to him. "These are friends of mine, Natalie and Gertrude."
Natalie nodded and he seemed to take an interest in Gertrude, exactly what I was looking for. "Hi," he said to Gertrude who looked like she was about to die. "oh, I love your Star Wars watch. My favorite is the Phantom one."
"The Phantom Menace." She said quickly, not even making eye contact with him. Natalie began to shake her head at her.
"Oh," he said, and stood there awkwardly. "well, thanks for the autograph."
I smiled and we both stared daggers at Gertrude. "What are you staring at?" She said, tearing up a napkin nervously.
"That's exactly what we're talking about!" I said. "You get so goddamn nervous that you shut down your personality immediately. He was into you! You just need to relax, babe."
She closed her eyes and put her head on the counter. "Ugh, you're right. I know."
Natalie put a hand over Gertrude's bright auburn locks. "I can help you. C'mon, let's go get some booty calls."
"W, what about me?" I said, putting my hands in the air with a smile on my face.
Natalie looked down the bar, smiled, then looked over at me. "I think you'll be just fine here."
The two of them disappeared into the sea of drunkards while I looked down the rows of booths to see what Natalie was smiling at. It was Chris. He'd just walked in the door and already made eye contact with me, a smile on his face. "Where's the other two?"
"Natalie's trying to help your sister get laid." I said, handing him a beer.
Chris rolled his bright blue eyes and smiled. "Typical. Hey, so how's it feel to be home?"
"Fantastic." I said, smiling and putting my head in my hands. "I can't wait to start writing again. How's the new album going?"
"Not well." Chris said. "Kind've have writer's block right now."
I waved at Guy, Will and Jonny and nodded. "It happens, I'm sure it'll pass soon."
"I doubt it."
"Well, maybe it won't."
Chris gave me a look and we both burst into laughter. Guy, Will and Jonny sat down and ordered drinks, and the night was off. Every time we would have these nights I felt like I was back in college again. No one wanted my autograph, no one wanted a picture with me, we would just talk to each other as if we had the most normal lives in the world- and we were far from it.
Hours past and I must've had six beers. In other words, I was absolutely wasted, along with the rest of the gang. Gertrude never came out of her shell with any guys but I thought that that night was a good start. Natalie was making out with a guy she'd just met in the corner of the booth, the rest of us leaning back in our chair, in tears of laughter and the most idiotic things.
"And oh my god!" I said, squeezing Jonny's hand as he tried to catch his breath. "Remember when Phil was in love with that vampire? She actually sucked his blood when he stubbed his toe! And he was defending it!"
The others couldn't even reply, they were laughing so hard. "He went looney!" Chris said through fits of laughter. "He must've been smoking something to want that chick. Phil, what were you smoking?"
Phil bent over with laughter and you could see the sweat beads coming off his head. "I believe the children call it marijuana."
My stomach hurt from laughing and my mouth hurt from smiling. And at the end of the night, Joe, the owner of Doyle's finally kicked us out like he usually would. We all stumbled out the door, laughing and giggling at absolutely nothing. Our friends made a little circle to talk and call taxis, but Chris pulled me away from it. "Come on." He said, taking my hand and walking into the night. I knew exactly where he was taking me.
We trudged up the soaking wet paths of Parliament Hill, stumbling and falling and laughing the entire time. "I haven't been this drunk since college." I said, falling down onto an old bench.
Chris sat down next to me and giggled. "I've missed this so much."
"So how's the lovely wife?" I said, trying not to laugh at the very sarcastic thing I just said.
I looked over at Chris who was looking down at his beer, a frown on his face. "Z, I gotta tell you something."
"What?" I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Is it Apple?"
He shook his head immediately. "No no, she's fine. This is about me and you. Do you uh, do you remember the day we signed our record deals?"
"Yeah, that was the day I broke up with you." I said, giggling and taking another sip of beer. I looked over at Chris, he still wasn't smiling.
There was a few more seconds of complete silence as I just stared at him, waiting to hear what he had to say. His blue eyes sparkled in the small amount of light we had, as he looked straight at me. "I uh, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that lately."
"What do you mean?" I said, feeling the tension build between us. A Scotland Yard siren started going off somewhere in the distance.
"I keep, eh, I keep thinking that was a huge mistake. That night. Breaking up."
I slid off the bench and tried to comprehend what was happening. "Now of course I don't regret my daughter." Chris said. "I love her more than anything. But I do regret Gwyneth. Zooey, I should've settled down with you."
I met Chris Martin in high school at Phil's Christmas party. We became unbelievably close in a matter of weeks, then we were inseparable. He was my best friend and made me feel absolutely invincible. Of course, being that close, there was a relationship.
We started dating in college and had the most unbelievable time together. Our days were full of making music, drinking with friends and spending the entire night talking and making love. But it wasn't real. We both agreed when we signed our record deals that it wasn't going to work and we decided to remain friends. I guess that didn't pan out the way we wanted it to.
Chris's band Coldplay sold unbelievable amounts of records and traveled the world. I was more successful than I could even ask for, playing places like the Fillmore and Royal Albert Hall. Even though we had incredibly hectic schedules, one thing kept it so we could always see each other- Phil Harvey. Phil was both my tour manager and Coldplay's. He was unbelievably busy dealing with the two of us but he loved and dealt with every second of it perfectly. After things happened between Chris and I though, Phil no longer worked for me. Or talked to me.
Anyway, all the drama started five years before my wedding. Things in my life were going perfectly. I had just finished a long, successful tour, I had some of the greatest and most supportive friends and family in the world.
On a typical Tuesday afternoon I flew from Moscow back to a sunny, beautiful London day. My feet hurt, my head ached and I was in desperate need of a shower. Despite all that I couldn't help but be happy. It was good to be home.
I was standing on an escalator, bags sitting at my feet, trying to ignore the paparazzi when I saw my welcoming committee waiting for me at the bottom. They had made a makeshift "Welcome home, Zoe!" sign that looked like it was made by a five year old. Sitting underneath it with their arms over each other were all my great friends- Phil, Jonny, Guy, Will, Natalie, Gertrude and Chris- singing one of my singles. I burst into laughter, watching them all make complete fools of themselves. My friends were the greatest people on earth.
"You are a bunch of idiots." I said when I got to the bottom of the escalator, trying to hide my gratitude behind humor.
"Welcome home!" They all said in off key unison and gave me a group hug. "Oh, you smell like crap!" Jonny added.
I smacked him across the shoulder and smiled at all of them. "Well, what are we doing, kids?"
"Dinner at Doyle's." Phil said. "So go home, get changed and take a shower. Jonny's right, you stink."
Natalie and Gertrude came to my apartment with me and made themselves at home while I scrubbed myself clean. The entire time I was alone I couldn't stop thinking about Chris. Why was he so quiet? I hadn't seen him in weeks, I thought he'd be more enthusiastic. "Is Chris mad at me?" I said, walking into my living room after I'd dried and styled my hair.
Gertrude and Natalie froze from what they were doing and gave each other a face. I recognized it. They were keeping something from me.
"What was that?" I said, pointing my finger at the two of them.
"W-nothing!" Natalie said, going back to the People magazine she was scanning.
Gertrude was a much worse liar than Natalie, so I waited for her to say something.
"What, Zooey? It was nothing. And no, Chris isn't mad at you. God, you're so paranoid."
Since I was so exhausted I let it slide. I knew something was up, though. "So what's been going on while I was gone?"
"Oh, not much." Natalie said. "Phil broke up with that girlfriend of his."
"Thank god. Ooh, how's your brother's baby?"
"Perfect." Natalie gave me a smile that thanked me for remembering. "The surgery went absolutely perfect."
A few hours later we changed and left for Doyle's. Dusk was coming over the city, and the people were home from work, ready to go out and drink away the day. Doyle's was in my favorite part of North London. Just a few blocks away from Chris's house, it was a place Chris and I would love to go after a long day of writing and recording. Then we'd go up to Parliament Hill at Hampstead Heath and just talk the night away, finishing our beers, watching the city sparkle and the sun rise. Those were some great days, and I couldn't wait to do that again tonight.
Natalie, Gertrude and I arrived before the boys did, so we got a booth in the back of the bar and ordered some strong drinks. The bar was jam packed, and I tried to cover my face with my hand, noticing some people pointing and whispering something about me. Tonight I really didn't want to be recognized. I just wanted to order some drinks and be with my friends. "Oh, god, I shouldn't be drinking." Gertrude said and took a sip of her Cosmo. "I've got a long day tomorrow, I'm going speed dating."
"Speed dating?" Natalie said. "Seems a little desperate, don't you think?"
I nodded in agreement.
Gertrude's emerald green eyes bulged. "It is NOT desperate. If I was as famous or as beautiful as either of you it would be much easier."
"Oh come on, Gertrude." I said. "You are so beautiful you just need to-"
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Need to what?"
"Put yourself out there a bit, love." Natalie said, pulling another martini off a passing waiter's drink tray.
She sat back in her booth and frowned. "What do you mean? I mean, I'm here, aren't I?"
"S'cuse me." A tall, young, Abercrombie looking man said standing in front of us. "I'm sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to say, Zooey, I am a huge fan. Can I get your autograph?"
I smiled and acted flattered, pulling out a Sharpie and a bar napkin. "What's your name?"
"Tad." He said, smiling at Natalie while Gertrude sunk lower and lower into the booth.
I looked over at her and handed the napkin to him. "These are friends of mine, Natalie and Gertrude."
Natalie nodded and he seemed to take an interest in Gertrude, exactly what I was looking for. "Hi," he said to Gertrude who looked like she was about to die. "oh, I love your Star Wars watch. My favorite is the Phantom one."
"The Phantom Menace." She said quickly, not even making eye contact with him. Natalie began to shake her head at her.
"Oh," he said, and stood there awkwardly. "well, thanks for the autograph."
I smiled and we both stared daggers at Gertrude. "What are you staring at?" She said, tearing up a napkin nervously.
"That's exactly what we're talking about!" I said. "You get so goddamn nervous that you shut down your personality immediately. He was into you! You just need to relax, babe."
She closed her eyes and put her head on the counter. "Ugh, you're right. I know."
Natalie put a hand over Gertrude's bright auburn locks. "I can help you. C'mon, let's go get some booty calls."
"W, what about me?" I said, putting my hands in the air with a smile on my face.
Natalie looked down the bar, smiled, then looked over at me. "I think you'll be just fine here."
The two of them disappeared into the sea of drunkards while I looked down the rows of booths to see what Natalie was smiling at. It was Chris. He'd just walked in the door and already made eye contact with me, a smile on his face. "Where's the other two?"
"Natalie's trying to help your sister get laid." I said, handing him a beer.
Chris rolled his bright blue eyes and smiled. "Typical. Hey, so how's it feel to be home?"
"Fantastic." I said, smiling and putting my head in my hands. "I can't wait to start writing again. How's the new album going?"
"Not well." Chris said. "Kind've have writer's block right now."
I waved at Guy, Will and Jonny and nodded. "It happens, I'm sure it'll pass soon."
"I doubt it."
"Well, maybe it won't."
Chris gave me a look and we both burst into laughter. Guy, Will and Jonny sat down and ordered drinks, and the night was off. Every time we would have these nights I felt like I was back in college again. No one wanted my autograph, no one wanted a picture with me, we would just talk to each other as if we had the most normal lives in the world- and we were far from it.
Hours past and I must've had six beers. In other words, I was absolutely wasted, along with the rest of the gang. Gertrude never came out of her shell with any guys but I thought that that night was a good start. Natalie was making out with a guy she'd just met in the corner of the booth, the rest of us leaning back in our chair, in tears of laughter and the most idiotic things.
"And oh my god!" I said, squeezing Jonny's hand as he tried to catch his breath. "Remember when Phil was in love with that vampire? She actually sucked his blood when he stubbed his toe! And he was defending it!"
The others couldn't even reply, they were laughing so hard. "He went looney!" Chris said through fits of laughter. "He must've been smoking something to want that chick. Phil, what were you smoking?"
Phil bent over with laughter and you could see the sweat beads coming off his head. "I believe the children call it marijuana."
My stomach hurt from laughing and my mouth hurt from smiling. And at the end of the night, Joe, the owner of Doyle's finally kicked us out like he usually would. We all stumbled out the door, laughing and giggling at absolutely nothing. Our friends made a little circle to talk and call taxis, but Chris pulled me away from it. "Come on." He said, taking my hand and walking into the night. I knew exactly where he was taking me.
We trudged up the soaking wet paths of Parliament Hill, stumbling and falling and laughing the entire time. "I haven't been this drunk since college." I said, falling down onto an old bench.
Chris sat down next to me and giggled. "I've missed this so much."
"So how's the lovely wife?" I said, trying not to laugh at the very sarcastic thing I just said.
I looked over at Chris who was looking down at his beer, a frown on his face. "Z, I gotta tell you something."
"What?" I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Is it Apple?"
He shook his head immediately. "No no, she's fine. This is about me and you. Do you uh, do you remember the day we signed our record deals?"
"Yeah, that was the day I broke up with you." I said, giggling and taking another sip of beer. I looked over at Chris, he still wasn't smiling.
There was a few more seconds of complete silence as I just stared at him, waiting to hear what he had to say. His blue eyes sparkled in the small amount of light we had, as he looked straight at me. "I uh, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that lately."
"What do you mean?" I said, feeling the tension build between us. A Scotland Yard siren started going off somewhere in the distance.
"I keep, eh, I keep thinking that was a huge mistake. That night. Breaking up."
I slid off the bench and tried to comprehend what was happening. "Now of course I don't regret my daughter." Chris said. "I love her more than anything. But I do regret Gwyneth. Zooey, I should've settled down with you."
My back was now turned to him, my hands in my hair, trying to catch my breath as a soft was now making it feel incredibly cold on top of that damn hill.
"Please say something, Zooey. I've been conjuring up the confidence to say this to you for mo-"
Before Chris could finish his sentence, I'd turned around and kissed him. All the thoughts going through my head, a few of them made sense to me. Ever since Chris and I'd broken up five or six years ago, I'd had some boyfriends here and there but absolutely none of them were steady. I guess I'd never gotten over him because as my lips were pressed against his, the feelings I felt started shooting back into my heart as if I'd just been hit by a shotgun.
Then I realized something. It's not five years ago anymore. Chris is married. He has two beautiful young children and now, I was something worse than having just steady boyfriends- I was a homewrecker.
"Oh my god." I said, pulling away from him so hard I thought he was going to fall over. "Oh my god, this is a mistake."
Chris took a step towards me. "No-"
"You're married!" I stepped away from him. "You're the frontman of one of the biggest groups in the world and I, oh my god I am such a bitch."
Before Chris could reply, I started walking down the path. He called after me a couple times but I didn't answer. I just walked with my arms crossed, head down, my mind absolutely full.
"Wait!" Chris said, stepping in front of me. "Will you please talk to me?"
"Chris," I said, feeling my face get hot and my eyes fill with tears. "I'm feeling a lot of things right now. Resentment, confusion, absolute horror and drunkenness. I just, I just want to go home and sleep. Okay?"
He nodded, frowning. "Call me, okay?"
I nodded and didn't stop speed walking until I got to my flat. After I got inside I kicked off my boots, ran straight upstairs and climbed into bed. "Chris and I kissed." I said into the phone after Natalie answered.
"Well it's about bloody time." She replied, I could hear the TV in the background.
"He's married!" I fired back as I changed into pajamas.
She scoffed. "Marriage isn't forever, babe. He's totally felt for you for a while now and I know you feel for him but don't want to admit it."
"I don't know what I feel right now." I sobbed.
"Watch." Natalie said. "Watch him. In the next few days, the media is going to blow up with the story of Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow divorcing. You'll see. Just a few days."
"Please say something, Zooey. I've been conjuring up the confidence to say this to you for mo-"
Before Chris could finish his sentence, I'd turned around and kissed him. All the thoughts going through my head, a few of them made sense to me. Ever since Chris and I'd broken up five or six years ago, I'd had some boyfriends here and there but absolutely none of them were steady. I guess I'd never gotten over him because as my lips were pressed against his, the feelings I felt started shooting back into my heart as if I'd just been hit by a shotgun.
Then I realized something. It's not five years ago anymore. Chris is married. He has two beautiful young children and now, I was something worse than having just steady boyfriends- I was a homewrecker.
"Oh my god." I said, pulling away from him so hard I thought he was going to fall over. "Oh my god, this is a mistake."
Chris took a step towards me. "No-"
"You're married!" I stepped away from him. "You're the frontman of one of the biggest groups in the world and I, oh my god I am such a bitch."
Before Chris could reply, I started walking down the path. He called after me a couple times but I didn't answer. I just walked with my arms crossed, head down, my mind absolutely full.
"Wait!" Chris said, stepping in front of me. "Will you please talk to me?"
"Chris," I said, feeling my face get hot and my eyes fill with tears. "I'm feeling a lot of things right now. Resentment, confusion, absolute horror and drunkenness. I just, I just want to go home and sleep. Okay?"
He nodded, frowning. "Call me, okay?"
I nodded and didn't stop speed walking until I got to my flat. After I got inside I kicked off my boots, ran straight upstairs and climbed into bed. "Chris and I kissed." I said into the phone after Natalie answered.
"Well it's about bloody time." She replied, I could hear the TV in the background.
"He's married!" I fired back as I changed into pajamas.
She scoffed. "Marriage isn't forever, babe. He's totally felt for you for a while now and I know you feel for him but don't want to admit it."
"I don't know what I feel right now." I sobbed.
"Watch." Natalie said. "Watch him. In the next few days, the media is going to blow up with the story of Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow divorcing. You'll see. Just a few days."
Two months later, Gwyneth announced her pregnancy to the world.
Wedding Bells, PROLOGUE.
.
PROLOGUE:
I couldn't move. The room was incredibly crowded, bridesmaids and flower girls running around at the last second, trying to look their prettiest. Photographers scampered past the door, running to the backyard to get in place. The cake rolled past, and I felt like I was going to throw up.
So I stood there, frozen in the back corner of the room, staring at myself in the mirror. My hands kept smoothing down my dress even though there were no wrinkles. Two months ago I thought this dress looked absolutely beautiful on me. Today I wanted to tear it into shreds. It was the day I was getting married and I had this growing feeling that the wrong man was waiting for me at the end of the aisle.
So yeah, you could say I had cold feet.
Aaron was a wonderful man and I loved him, I really did. From the moment we met, two years earlier. He the All - Star Giants player, I the loved celebrity asked to throw out the first pitch. We were America's Sweethearts, and he was great for me. He made me smile, laugh, and he made me completely forget about That Night. That was the biggest thing that attracted me to him. When I was around him I didn't think about Chris at all… and it was the first time in ages that I did.
At the time I just didn't know if the love I was feeling was real, or if I was just trying to run away from the man I loved who didn't love me back for so many years.
"Wow," said Phil, standing behind me in his tux. "if Aaron wasn't twice my size I'd totally punch him out and marry you myself."
My heart was going to pop out of my throat. I looked at him from his reflection in the mirror. "Tell me I'm doing the right thing."
Phil's face turned and he looked around at all the people in the room. The room was so loud I could barely hear myself think. Maybe that was a good thing, and I could just get on with this wedding not thinking about it at all.
"Okay everybody." Phil said in his loudest voice. "I need to talk to the blushing bride alone for a few minutes so please, just file out, okay? Thanks very much."
Everybody nodded and smiled at the two of us mouthing "you look beautiful" to me. I smiled, waved and tried to hide the paralyzing fear growing inside me.
"Zooey." Phil said in his calmest, fatherly voice.
"Tell me." I said a little louder, now pacing the empty room. "Tell me I'm doing the right thing, marrying Aaron."
Phil took off his dinner jacket and sat down. "You know I can't do that."
"Phil!" I whined, and collapsed down next to him.
"Hey, hey relax." Phil said, wrapping his arms around me, giving me a light kiss on the head. "Zooey, this is your choice. You don't have to do this."
I scoffed. "Badgley Mischka custom designed this dress for me. There are hundreds of paparazzi out there- vans, buses and helicopters of them- waiting to get our picture after we take those damn vowels and worst of all, it would absolutely shatter Aaron. I can't hurt him like, like some people have hurt me."
"Sounds like you care about him a great deal."
I looked up at Phil's warm smile. "I do."
"And he loves you more than anything, and I mean anything in the world. He never stops talking about you, thinking about you, I honestly thought he was going to ditch his own bachelor party the other night and go find you." Phil stood up and handed me a tissue. "You two are perfect for each other."
I'd stopped crying. My heart was back where it belonged and I had a smile on my face. Phil was the older brother I never had, and he always knew how to make my tears stop. "Thank you." I whispered, and begun to wipe my makeup and get on with my wedding day.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris woke up at 10:30 with a massive headache. His house was quiet, too quiet. Usually at this time in the morning, Phil, Guy, Jonny and Will were in his house, making themselves at home, making music. Apple and Moses were at their mother's for the week.
Why isn't anyone here?
He rolled over to the coffee table and grabbed his cell phone. No missed calls. Then, he started to get suspicious. Chris pressed "Phil Harvey" in his contacts and put the iPhone to his ear.
A few rings and then voicemail. Phil was the kind of guy that constantly had his phone on hand and picked it up within the first ring.
Something was up.
"Jonny Buckland", no answer there.
"Guy Berryman", straight to voicemail.
Lastly "Will Champion", and Chris could feel himself starting to get sweaty. Was everyone avoiding him? Finally, someone answers the phone. "Eh, hello?" Chris could hear Will whispering to other people, he was somewhere loud.
"Will! Where the hell are you guys?" Chris said, rolling out of bed to the kitchen.
More whispering, and Chris started to get annoyed. "We're uh, we're in Cambridge. Yeah, ssh, I know just shut up."
Chris chuckled. "Why?" He thought about it, and didn't think he'd ever been to Cambridge.
"Chris," Will said, and the other noises started to get more faded. "Zooey's getting married today."
His knees almost buckled underneath him and his face felt numb. So many things started racing through his mind. He never thought she'd do it. The arrogance in him made him think that she was just with this prick for revenge against Chris, and what he did to her two years ago. "Will," Chris said, throwing on his shoes. "you have to give me the address right now."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"These shoes are awful." I said, holding onto Phil's shoulder as I adjusted my stilettos. "I should've just done a hippie wedding and gone shoe less."
"C'mon, they're hot. Shoeless would be a little creepy, too. And the kiss would be so anti climactic, because you'd probably have to climb a ladder to reach Aaron's lips. I really do think he's a commoner giant."
I giggled and smiled at Phil as we stood in front of those giant double doors that led out to the ceremony. "Thank you, by the way."
Phil looked back at me. "For what?"
"Everything." I said. "For always being there for me and, for walking me down the aisle today. I couldn't think of someone better to do this."
He smiled at me as the double doors began to open, and the audience of two hundred got on their feet.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris was breaking an unbelievable amount of laws as he sped to Cambridge. He was planning his own version of The Graduate but hadn't figured out the details yet. All he knew was he needed to stop this wedding.
He finally arrived at the address Will gave him and put his hood on, trying to hide his face from the paparazzi. It was jam packed with fans of the couple and paparazzi, waiting for a glimpse of the happy two. They were all rushing towards the front gates of the gigantic mansion that was holding the wedding. Something was getting them all stirred and excited and Chris realized what it was- wedding bells. He ran up to the gate to get a glimpse of what was going on. At the top of the hill, in front of the ancient mansion was the audience, spilling out into the front, clapping, holding umbrellas to block themselves from the sun. It was so far away that Chris couldn't make out anyone specifically, but knew he'd know it when he saw her. The guests filed around an old white convertible and suddenly, there she was. Dressed in a long extravagant white gown, holding the hand of the man Chris hated more than anything. She was waving, squeezing people's hands, kissing her new husband on the cheek.
Chris couldn't believe it- he was too late.
PROLOGUE:
I couldn't move. The room was incredibly crowded, bridesmaids and flower girls running around at the last second, trying to look their prettiest. Photographers scampered past the door, running to the backyard to get in place. The cake rolled past, and I felt like I was going to throw up.
So I stood there, frozen in the back corner of the room, staring at myself in the mirror. My hands kept smoothing down my dress even though there were no wrinkles. Two months ago I thought this dress looked absolutely beautiful on me. Today I wanted to tear it into shreds. It was the day I was getting married and I had this growing feeling that the wrong man was waiting for me at the end of the aisle.
So yeah, you could say I had cold feet.
Aaron was a wonderful man and I loved him, I really did. From the moment we met, two years earlier. He the All - Star Giants player, I the loved celebrity asked to throw out the first pitch. We were America's Sweethearts, and he was great for me. He made me smile, laugh, and he made me completely forget about That Night. That was the biggest thing that attracted me to him. When I was around him I didn't think about Chris at all… and it was the first time in ages that I did.
At the time I just didn't know if the love I was feeling was real, or if I was just trying to run away from the man I loved who didn't love me back for so many years.
"Wow," said Phil, standing behind me in his tux. "if Aaron wasn't twice my size I'd totally punch him out and marry you myself."
My heart was going to pop out of my throat. I looked at him from his reflection in the mirror. "Tell me I'm doing the right thing."
Phil's face turned and he looked around at all the people in the room. The room was so loud I could barely hear myself think. Maybe that was a good thing, and I could just get on with this wedding not thinking about it at all.
"Okay everybody." Phil said in his loudest voice. "I need to talk to the blushing bride alone for a few minutes so please, just file out, okay? Thanks very much."
Everybody nodded and smiled at the two of us mouthing "you look beautiful" to me. I smiled, waved and tried to hide the paralyzing fear growing inside me.
"Zooey." Phil said in his calmest, fatherly voice.
"Tell me." I said a little louder, now pacing the empty room. "Tell me I'm doing the right thing, marrying Aaron."
Phil took off his dinner jacket and sat down. "You know I can't do that."
"Phil!" I whined, and collapsed down next to him.
"Hey, hey relax." Phil said, wrapping his arms around me, giving me a light kiss on the head. "Zooey, this is your choice. You don't have to do this."
I scoffed. "Badgley Mischka custom designed this dress for me. There are hundreds of paparazzi out there- vans, buses and helicopters of them- waiting to get our picture after we take those damn vowels and worst of all, it would absolutely shatter Aaron. I can't hurt him like, like some people have hurt me."
"Sounds like you care about him a great deal."
I looked up at Phil's warm smile. "I do."
"And he loves you more than anything, and I mean anything in the world. He never stops talking about you, thinking about you, I honestly thought he was going to ditch his own bachelor party the other night and go find you." Phil stood up and handed me a tissue. "You two are perfect for each other."
I'd stopped crying. My heart was back where it belonged and I had a smile on my face. Phil was the older brother I never had, and he always knew how to make my tears stop. "Thank you." I whispered, and begun to wipe my makeup and get on with my wedding day.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris woke up at 10:30 with a massive headache. His house was quiet, too quiet. Usually at this time in the morning, Phil, Guy, Jonny and Will were in his house, making themselves at home, making music. Apple and Moses were at their mother's for the week.
Why isn't anyone here?
He rolled over to the coffee table and grabbed his cell phone. No missed calls. Then, he started to get suspicious. Chris pressed "Phil Harvey" in his contacts and put the iPhone to his ear.
A few rings and then voicemail. Phil was the kind of guy that constantly had his phone on hand and picked it up within the first ring.
Something was up.
"Jonny Buckland", no answer there.
"Guy Berryman", straight to voicemail.
Lastly "Will Champion", and Chris could feel himself starting to get sweaty. Was everyone avoiding him? Finally, someone answers the phone. "Eh, hello?" Chris could hear Will whispering to other people, he was somewhere loud.
"Will! Where the hell are you guys?" Chris said, rolling out of bed to the kitchen.
More whispering, and Chris started to get annoyed. "We're uh, we're in Cambridge. Yeah, ssh, I know just shut up."
Chris chuckled. "Why?" He thought about it, and didn't think he'd ever been to Cambridge.
"Chris," Will said, and the other noises started to get more faded. "Zooey's getting married today."
His knees almost buckled underneath him and his face felt numb. So many things started racing through his mind. He never thought she'd do it. The arrogance in him made him think that she was just with this prick for revenge against Chris, and what he did to her two years ago. "Will," Chris said, throwing on his shoes. "you have to give me the address right now."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"These shoes are awful." I said, holding onto Phil's shoulder as I adjusted my stilettos. "I should've just done a hippie wedding and gone shoe less."
"C'mon, they're hot. Shoeless would be a little creepy, too. And the kiss would be so anti climactic, because you'd probably have to climb a ladder to reach Aaron's lips. I really do think he's a commoner giant."
I giggled and smiled at Phil as we stood in front of those giant double doors that led out to the ceremony. "Thank you, by the way."
Phil looked back at me. "For what?"
"Everything." I said. "For always being there for me and, for walking me down the aisle today. I couldn't think of someone better to do this."
He smiled at me as the double doors began to open, and the audience of two hundred got on their feet.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris was breaking an unbelievable amount of laws as he sped to Cambridge. He was planning his own version of The Graduate but hadn't figured out the details yet. All he knew was he needed to stop this wedding.
He finally arrived at the address Will gave him and put his hood on, trying to hide his face from the paparazzi. It was jam packed with fans of the couple and paparazzi, waiting for a glimpse of the happy two. They were all rushing towards the front gates of the gigantic mansion that was holding the wedding. Something was getting them all stirred and excited and Chris realized what it was- wedding bells. He ran up to the gate to get a glimpse of what was going on. At the top of the hill, in front of the ancient mansion was the audience, spilling out into the front, clapping, holding umbrellas to block themselves from the sun. It was so far away that Chris couldn't make out anyone specifically, but knew he'd know it when he saw her. The guests filed around an old white convertible and suddenly, there she was. Dressed in a long extravagant white gown, holding the hand of the man Chris hated more than anything. She was waving, squeezing people's hands, kissing her new husband on the cheek.
Chris couldn't believe it- he was too late.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
CHAPTER 2, and the last chapter. I'll try to think of another long story in the time to come. :]
Three Days Later.
I sat on the couch in my pajamas, watching two rich women claw each other's hair out on the Real Housewives of New Jersey while simultaneously trying to make my stomach stop churning. Tonight was the night I was going to tell Chase that I had enough of his bullshit and I was absolutely terrified at what he was going to do.
Ten o'clock came and Chris was right on time to fill his role as my bodyguard. He parked around the corner so Chase wouldn't see his car. When I opened the door to let him in he was right outside my door signing some autographs for some lucky fans. He smiled, was incredibly friendly and took a picture with the young women, then said goodbye and walked up the stairs into my living room. "Hey," I said. "so listen, here's the game plan."
Before I could finish Chris turned me around and pulled my lips to his. It was three nights ago that we made love in his car and to be honest, I was dying for him to kiss me again. The feeling of his lips on mine, his stubbly chin pressed against my face, the smell of his aftershave filling my nostrils. "I missed you." He said when he pulled away.
"God I missed you too." I said, softly stroking his neck with my thumbs. "I'm eh, I'm so scared for tonight."
"Don't be. I'll be right here." He immediately replied. His tone was so calm, I couldn't help but feel more at ease.
We sat on the couch while the rich women of Real Housewives had silly over-the-top parties and gossiped about each other, but we weren't really paying attention to what was on TV. I couldn't keep my lips off his. Chris was the only person I'd truly cared about and now that he knew how I felt, I didn't want to be more than two feet away from him. His lips were addictive, and when he was kissing me, holding me, stroking my neck I couldn't give a shit about Chase or what he would do.
It was around eleven thirty when I finally heard Chase's car pull up. Chris was on top of me, kissing my neck with one hand on my hip, the other up my shirt and under my bra. My fingernails in his back as I tried my best not to moan in sheer pleasure. Then I heard the loud engine of Chase's Porsche. "That's him." I said, and we pulled away from each other. "Holy shit that's him."
"Okay, just remember the plan." Chris said. "Stay calm and just remember that I'll never let him hurt you."
I nodded and Chris snuck into the kitchen to follow through with our plan, which was for Chris to hide the entire time unless I needed help dealing with him. He'd probably be drunk as hell so I knew he'd try something. I stood at front door and waited for Chase to stop fumbling with his keys and come inside. My bags were packed, sitting next to the door. I was ready physically, but not mentally.
The door finally flew open and Chase flew in, falling face first on the floor. I tried as best I could not to laugh at the site. "Hey baby." He said, looking up at me. "Boy, this city can party!"
I folded my arms and waited for him to situate himself. He stood up and stepped a few feet closer to me, and I was hit with the overpowering smell of alcohol and perfume. Chase leaned in and kissed my lips, trying to slip his tongue into my mouth but I pulled away. "We need to talk. And why do you smell like perfume?"
He looked at me with his bloodshot hazel eyes, barely able to stand. "Oh, that's my aftershave babe. Now, come here."
"That's not aftershave, Chase." I said, raising my voice a little. "Look, you have lipstick on your face."
For a minute I thought I saw a flash of anger cross his face, but it faded. "Beautiful," he said, grabbing my arm and yanking me towards him, almost knocking me off my feet. "I'm a man. I have needs. You're on the road all the time and, wearing pretty unflattering sweaters, sometimes you can't fill all my needs."
Before he could finish his misogynistic speech I slapped him across the face. Hard. So hard, he stumbled to the left and almost fell to the ground. "I'm leaving you, Chase. I've had enough of this."
As good as slapping him across the face felt, it probably wasn't the right thing to do. "Whose shoes are these?" Chase asked, pointing to Chris's white Adidas on the floor.
Shit. Shit shit shit. His fucking shoes. When I slapped him, he stumbled so far away that his eyes fell right on top of them. Also, he seemed to not hear a word I said about leaving him. My mouth opened and closed as I just stared at the shoes, not sure what to say.
"Whose shoes are these, Sophie?" Chase says, and scans the living room. "And why are there two glasses of wine on the coffee table? Is someone here?"
"Chase, you're missing the point," was all I could think of saying.
Before I could finish I noticed Chase had stopped looking into my eyes and was now looking at something behind me. It was Chris. He had emerged from his hiding place looking as proud and strong and gorgeous as ever. "They're my shoes, Chase." Chris said. "Soph asked me to be here in case you tried to hit her again."
"Hit!" Chase laughed, stepping a little closer to Chris which made me nervous. "I might've pushed her around a little but she misbehaved. I never like, hit her! And you're not here for that, you're here to sleep with my woman."
"Chase," I said, stepping in between the two, gently putting my hands on Chase's chest. "stop."
He looked down at me and I could see the rage growing. He was giving me the same face he gave that night he threw me into the wall. This was going bad. Chase shoved me off of him so hard that I felt myself back into Chris. Chris of course, being there to catch me. "You fucking bitch." Chase said. "You get mad at me for having a couple ladies but you're fucking this fag behind my back?"
Now, I started to get angry. I walked straight at Chase and pulled his phone out of his front pocket. "Veronica, Jessica, Sara, Katie," I said going through his contacts. "Emily, Melissa, Gia and Teresa is NOT a few women you fucking moron. And if you really want to know, yes! YES! I did screw Chris behind your back, three days ago! And it was ten times better than you've ever been!"
What happened next must've happened in just a few seconds, but it felt like hours. Chase's eyes were on fire as he threw himself at me, winding up his fist to throw in my face. I thought he was going to hit me, and I thought he was going to hit me hard. So hard, I hoped Chris knew the best route to the nearest hospital.
But he didn't hit me. In fact, he was the one who took the hit.
Right before Chase could throw his fist in my face, Chris threw his fist in Chase's face. It was one of the loudest noises I ever heard, and threw Chase back and threw him to the floor. Chase put both hands on his face as blood began to trickle out from between his fingers. Chris turned around and stared straight into my eyes, a look of concern on his face. "You okay?"
I nodded, just smiling at the man who most likely just saved my life.
Chris grabbed my bags for me as we walked hand in hand out the door and to Chris's car. I don't think I took my eyes off of Chris the entire time. It was the most amazing feeling of passion I ever had for one person. It was right then that I knew I was in love with him. Chris threw my bags in the back of his Range Rover as I climbed into the passenger seat, immediately inhaling since the entire car smelled like him.
We drove back to Chris's house in complete silence, but both knowing what the other was thinking. Halfway to his house, I looked over at him and noticed a little smirk on his face. His right hand, the one that went into Chase's face, was completely black and blue but you couldn't tell at all from how happy he looked. And I couldn't help but lean over and wrap my arms around his strong chest, leaning my head on his shoulder. He immediately wrapped his left arm around me and kissed my head, driving the rest of the with just his right hand.
When we got to Chris's, I threw my bags in the bedroom where I knew they'd stay for a very long time.
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