CHAPTER 6

Two Years Later.

The stars were twinkling above the Golden Gate Bridge as I cuddled my beau on that park bench. My face was stuffed in his shoulder, the mixed smell of his shower soap and cologne filling my nostrils. His hand was wrapped around me, keeping me warm since that fall night was unseasonably cold. I almost couldn't bare the feeling of his fingers running through my mane of auburn hair.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Aaron said, cuddling me closer. "Zooey, you know how much I love you, don't you?"

"Mmmhm. Sure, you too." I said. I wasn't really in the mood for the mushy gushy talk, I just wanted to keep smelling my gorgeous boyfriend.

"I want to fill my life with moments like this. I want you always here with me, right by my side, making me laugh, making my life complete."

There was something practiced about that speech. I shivered a little as Aaron began to move. He was now off the park bench, on one knee, pulling a black box out of his pocket. "Zooey, I want you to marry me. Will you marry me?"

Shit.

Ever since I was a little girl I didn't picture myself getting married. I grew up in a home where my parents couldn't stand the sight of each other. They split up when I was 14, and it was then I decided that I didn't want to get married because I knew I'd treat the poor sap just like my mother treated my father.

Aaron knew that. So right off the bat, I was annoyed.

And it's not like I never considered getting married. I considered marrying Chris for a while but he obviously never proposed. When I did get in my damsel in distress mode and thought about getting married, I never pictured the proposal like this. I wanted it simple. No big dinner at the most expensive restaurant in town like Aaron had just taken me to, no big speech about how much he loves me like Aaron just recited, no gigantic ring that's bigger than my knuckle like the one Aaron was now holding in front of me.

Then I couldn't help but think of something Chris once said to me "You're too good for anyone who's too good to you."

Now I didn't feel cold. I felt incredibly stiff and sleepy, the way people say you freeze to death.

"Hey, wake up baby." Aaron said with a nervous chuckle. "Will you marry me or what?"

I finally began to exhale again and gave Aaron a smile. "Sure, why not? Let's do it."

Two weeks later I flew to London since I had three nights at Royal Albert Hall to play. I was still staring at that ring like it was an infection, though nobody around me could tell. Everyone was kissing me and gasping at how huge the ring was and suggesting bakeries for the wedding cake. I would smile and take suggestions and I was already buying wedding magazines, but in the back of my mind I knew I was making a mistake. It was just so far back I couldn't see it anymore.

Phil didn't know yet, but Natalie did. I had sworn her to secrecy. Phil was friends with Chris again, and I was completely fine with the entire thing. Things had happened so long ago, people forget their hurt. I just wanted to move on with my life and that meant my friends could move on with their lives, too. But since I knew Phil was going to tell Chris, I wanted to tell him face to face. So I sat at a cafe on Berwick street, tapping through e-mails and things I needed to do on my iPad, waiting for the happy couple to arrive.

"Aunt Ohey, aunt Ohey!" I hear from a distance, and look down the street.

Lizzy- Natalie and Phil's beautiful two year old girl- was running down the sidewalk, straight at me, a giant smile on her face. Her proud parents were laughing behind her, hand in hand, watching her excitement. Her auburn hair was in pigtails, and her blue polka dot dress was dancing around her chubby legs as she ran. "Lizzy bo bizzie bear!" I said and scooted out of my chair, knelt down and embraced her for a hug.

"I miss you aunt Ohey!" She said as I stood up, smiling at her parents as they finally got to my table.

"I missed you too! You got so big!" I said, kissing her on the head. "How's your ABC's going?"

As Lizzy began to recite her ABC's over and over again, I began to talk to Phil and Natalie. "How've things been here?" I said, tickling Lizzy's belly.

"Fantastic." Phil said, smiling at Natalie as she blushed. "London's not the same without you, though. How's San Francisco treating you?"

"If by San Francisco, you mean Aaron, that's why I called you here." I said and handed Lizzy to her mother. "Phil, Aaron and I are getting married."

Phil's mouth opened and closed. "W-why are you saying just Phil?" He said, pointing to Natalie and his daughter.

"I knew." Natalie said. "I knew and the only reason we waited to tell you is because you're still friends with that twat and we knew you were going to tell him. Zooey thought it would be better to tell you in person so you didn't go off-"

"Okay, I get it, love." Phil said, nodding. "Wow. So you, said yes?"

"Of course I said yes, why wouldn't I say yes?" I snapped, sitting back in my seat with my arms crossed.

He raised his thick eyebrows at me and shook his head. "No no, I didn't mean anything by it. It's wonderful, Zooey. Congratulations!"

I reached across the table and kissed him on the cheek, Natalie and Lizzy wearing the same proud smile as we did. That didn't go as well as I wanted it to but hey, it went.

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Phil kissed his girlfriend and daughter goodbye and walked into the Bakery, his heart feeling a little heavy. He didn't know how he was going to say it, but he knew he had to tell Chris about Zooey's engagement. It'd been three years, and Chris still wasn't over her.

"Hey," Phil said, crashing on the couch next to Chris as he strummed an acoustic guitar. "how've you been?"

Chris nodded at him, a little suspicion on his face. "Good. You?"

"I just had lunch with Zooey."

As soon as her name left Phil's lips, Chris stopped strumming his guitar and sat up in his seat. "She's in London?"

Phil nodded. "And there's something I need to tell you about her."

Chris waited patiently, his knuckled white from squeezing his guitar so hard.

"Chris, she's getting married."

The entire room got silent when Phil said it. Guy stopped typing on his laptop, Jonny and Will stopped laughing at something they were talking about. They were all looking at Chris.

Chris's hands immediately started to shake as he let his guitar gently fall to the ground. His blue eyes were bulged, staring at the ground as he slowly stood up and began to walk slowly out of the room.

"Chris?" Phil said softly.

He didn't answer, he just kept walking until he lost his balance and began to fall on a bookshelf of records. Jonny and Will immediately ran over to catch him, pulled him up and brought his limp body back to the couch. As soon as they laid him down, he tucked his legs close to his body and faced the back. "Is she performing here?"

"Chris," Phil said, scooting closer.

"Is she performing here?" Chris said louder, and Phil could see his entire body was trembling.

Phil nodded, even though Chris wasn't looking at him. "She's got a show at Royal Albert Hall tonight."

Chris stood up and began to walk into the mini kitchen. "You're taking me with you." He said, and with that commenced a full twenty minutes of Chris breaking dishes and tearing things apart, just the way his life was.

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The show went off without a hitch. The audience was fantastic and I couldn't help but feel really great, being back in my favorite city in the world. I missed London, a lot. But I also know I made the choice to move and sometimes, we have to make sacrifices to be happy.

But… was I happy?

I jogged off the stage after my band and I took our bow, talking to my drummer Josh about how great the beat sounded. Roadies clapped and high fived us while people scrambled to finish the night out. I walked down to the basement and opened the door to my dressing room, not expecting what was standing inside.

It was Chris.

He was standing in front of my makeup mirror, staring back at me with the same look of surprise on his face. I noticed he was holding a picture of him and I in his hand. A picture I kept behind my picture of Aaron and I. "What are you doing here?" I said, closing the door quickly behind me.

"I sort've made Phil bring me, so eh, don't get angry at him, okay?"

I was still leaning against the door, stiff as a board. Neither one of us had moved since I had walked in. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. It was so weird, not seeing him on the cover of gossip and music magazines, and instead seeing him in my dressing room again. Like old times.

"What are you doing here?" I said again, with a little more anger.

Chris put the picture back down on my bureau and took a step closer to me. "I need to talk to you."

"I'm getting married, Chris." I spit the words out of my mouth like acid.

As Chris thought of what to say I began to move, packing up my things, wanting to get the hell out of that room as soon as possible. "That's what I need to talk to you about I just, I need to ask you something. Zooey, please slow down."

I was rushing around the room, stuffing clothes into my duffle bag and guitars back into their cases, not even glancing at him. The only thing that finally stopped me was his hands on my shoulders. He turned me around and I looked into his deep blue eyes. It hurt to look into them again, but I couldn't look away.

"What?" I said, feeling my eyes tear up. I began to miss his face again.

He swallowed, staring straight back at me. "Do you love him?"

I felt like I was going to faint. "Of course I do." I whispered.

There was a few seconds of dead silence, I could barely move from all the tension in the room. "Like you loved me?" Chris said, his big blue eyes watery, his face flushed.

The entire thing felt like a dream. I couldn't believe I was in this situation, talking to him again. But the biggest thing I was worried about was the fact that I realized I was still in love with him.

I turned around and dropped my duffle bag next to me. Tears were streaming down my face and my throat was completely closed in. I couldn't take it anymore.

Chris stepped closer to me and I did the same, we were now inches away from each other's faces. My eyes were closed as I breathed him in. He was still the same. That amazing feeling of smelling his cologne while my face rubbed against his stubbly chin brought me back to when we dated. When we laughed together, cried together, fought together, made love together. At that moment there was nothing else in my mind but him, and how much I wanted him.